I want to reply that it’s okay. Tell him I understand. I want to, but find I can’t. After almost forty-eight hours spent naked, I’m less lost in a whirlwind of lust and able to pause long enough to question what’s happening.

“Why keep it quiet?” I ask.

“It’d be awkward if the others knew about us.”

Us. What does that even mean? I know I’m supposed to play cool, not make demands after such a short time. To let things evolve on their own, so as not to scare him away. It’s acknowledged dating wisdom. Yet, there’s a new fire burning within me that simply won’t let me play by the rules.

I fold my legs and sit straighter. “For them, or for you?”

Clinginess taints my voice and I hate myself for it.

“For everyone, including you.”

“Come on, Richard. We don’t work in that kind of place. Everyone would just be happy for us.”

The afterglow vaporizes from his face, replaced by a tense grimace. “Maybe, but what if I’m not ready to share my private life with all my employees?”

“Indira seems to always know who you’re dating.”

“Yes, but this is different.”

“I would certainly hope so.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That if you’re only looking for another two-week relationship, I’m not interested.”

“So what are you interested in?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”

“Calm down. Why are you getting so worked up?”

The answer comes from my twisting guts before I can even form a rational thought. And since I’ve no gut-to-mouth filters, I yell, “Because I’m in love with you!”

The silence that follows this impromptu declaration is so tense that even Chevron lifts her head to check on us. Richard is staring at me with that deer-in-the-headlights expression. Well, “terrorized to death” wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for. Tears prick my eyes and I have to blink fast to hold them back. Still, Richard isn’t speaking.

“Don’t worry,” I say, getting up. “You don’t have to say it back.”

Coward, I add in my head. I know you feel the same.

I can’t stand to look at his terrified expression for a second longer, so I dart for the bedroom. I manage to throw on the essentials before Richard comes in. Admittedly, having this argument wearing only a lacy bra and panties is hardly any better.

“What do you want from me?” he asks.

“Guess.”

“What, love?” He scoffs. “A wedding proposal? You want the house with the white fence, the three kids, and a dog in the yard?”

“I already have a dog!” I scream. “And what’s wrong with wanting any of that? What if my dream is to get married and have a family?”

“Well, that’s not my dream.”

“Isn’t it? Or are you too afraid to admit it is, even to yourself, because your dream already got shattered once.”

“This has nothing to do with that… don’t throw my past in my face as an excuse for me not agreeing with your cloud nine attitude.”