“So you basically want to marry a penniless, unemployed artist, who’d propose to you on top of a big rock with a plastic ring because he can’t afford a real diamond?”

“I never said marry, I only said I’d like one last adventure. Is that so wrong?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one about to walk down the aisle.”

I must’ve been scowling more than I realized, because Jules goes on the defensive. “No, you’re right. I’m just being silly. But it’s hard to think I’m done with first dates and first kisses… That Paul will be it for me for the rest of my life.”

Considering the last few disastrous first dates I went on, I count Julia lucky she won’t ever have to go on another one. “First dates are overrated, trust me.”

She smiles. “Maybe you’re right. But this is all so new; it’s normal for me to have some wedding jitters, isn’t it?”

I’ve had enough. “Listen, Jules, I don’t mean to be rude, but I really have a ton of work to do…”

“Sorry.” Julia hops off the desk. “I’ve already stolen too much of your time. Thank you for talking me down.” She pulls on her coat. “I’ll send you the wedding planner’s contact as soon as I’ve picked one…”

“Whatever you need.” I hug her goodbye and usher her out. “You know the way, right?”

“Yeah.” She gives me another quick hug and goes.

I don’t watch her get to the elevators; I shut the door to my office and pull down all the blinds. Back behind my desk, I drop my head on its cold surface and wait for the tears to come. Only they won’t. After holding back for too long, my body is wired to resist and refuses to let go.

For the rest of the afternoon I stare blankly at my screen, finishing none of the work I was supposed to do—namely, the final revision of a lipstick commercial that starts shooting soon. A high-end gig with A-list models and a top-notch director. I just scroll through the art boards, casting pictures, and wardrobe selection without really seeing any of it. By the time Melanie knocks on my door to tell me she’s leaving for the night, I’ve no idea what the plan is for the shoot the day after tomorrow.

Ah, hell. I decide to follow Melanie out. Take the night off, process the blow, and come back in the morning as good as new. The engagement doesn’t really change anything. They already live together… Marriage won’t make their relationship any better… Only more permanent… More unbreakable…

Kids are coming next, a vicious voice whispers inside my head.

As I walk out of my building, I try to imagine what a Jules & Paul baby would look like. Gorgeous, for sure, with blonde hair and blue eyes… Perfect, really. They’re going to have perfect babies, to live in their perfect house, after their perfect wedding.

Despite the biting cold, my feet refuse to walk me to the subway station. Instead, I wander the streets of New York surrounded by a frenzied holiday crowd. Revoltingly cheery people going about their jolly business amidst colorful shopping windows and those sickening Christmas tunes coming out of a thousand speakers hidden everywhere in the city.