Maury was a short man, balding and with a slight paunch to his gut, his disposition as cheerful and easygoing as Eva’s. The fact that all three of his kids—Julio, Xavier, and toddling little Max—were currently holding an unsupervised pirate sword fight on the stage was proof of that.

“You’re the sexiest man I know and the only person I want to spank me,” Eva obediently replied. She ruined it by adding, “But I’m not wrong, am I, Ruby?”

“No, you’re not. In fact, I think you might be onto something. Okay, Caleb. Picture yourself decked out from head to toe in skintight black leather and try again.”

Spencer refused to look at her, but he didn’t need his eyes to tell him what she looked like right now. She’d be wearing that same expression as when she’d discussed danger words at the meet and greet, with a laugh on her lips and that challenging gleam in her eye. He hadn’t been able to track down the book about porcupines yet, but he’d done enough internet research to realize that the world of erotic literature ran deep.

And, he was forced to admit, girthy. If that was the sort of thing Ruby enjoyed, then it was a good thing he’d decided to have nothing to do with her. Some of the things he’d read about seemed downright painful.

“Mayonnaise,” Caleb said in a voice that sounded less like Spencer and more like Tom Jones in the middle of murder spree. Wheezy must have agreed because he didn’t stir. “Goddammit, Spencer! What’s the trick? You must have been doing something else at the time.”

At a shout from the three small boys—and a look of reproach from Eva—Caleb coughed.

“I mean, poppycock,” he amended. “Balderdash. Fiddlesticks.”

Spencer held back a snort. Which one of them was the old-timey schoolteacher now?

“I’m not going to do your job for you,” he said. “If you can’t train that dog, then it’ll be better for all of us if you admit it and issue Ruby a refund.”

From the shouts of protest on the other side of the backyard, it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen.

Maury confirmed it with a sigh. “You might as well tell them your secret and save us both a lot of trouble,” he said to Spencer. “Eva won’t stop until that dog is transformed. She’s emotionally invested now.”

“I don’t have a secret,” Spencer protested. “Just like I don’t have anything but an ordinary voice. Ruby is only saying all that to wind me up.”

“Oh, so you are aware that I’m doing it?”