“Why are you standing there? Let’s do this.” He wipes his nose. Sometimes Jackson needs a little help to get through the day. It’s not coke, what he snorts. It’s something else with a long name that I can’t pronounce. You’d think he’d grow out of it by now, especially with his quest to keep me off my crazy pills, but I guess even he needs a little pick-me-up. Still, Beth wouldn’t be happy if she caught him like this.

I follow Jackson back to the others. When Frank goes to check on Carrie, Jackson quietly debriefs us. My stomach churns.

“Take your time,” Jackson says to me. “Remember, you need to be thorough.”

“Got it,” I say, my voice clipped.

“Any trouble, we’re right here. What’s wrong?” Jackson asks. “You look like shit.”

“Nothing,” I say. “I’m just not feeling well.”

He frowns. The floorboards creak above our heads. “Buck up, sis. We need this one.”

Frank moves down the stairs. Jackson walks over to greet him, his game face on.

I head down the hallway, Elliot close behind me. This whole day feels off, like I’m walking through quicksand. I’ll find myself staring off into space, and then my whole body will feel buoyant, as if I’m floating away. It doesn’t make any sense, and I know the others wouldn’t understand, though Elliot would probably listen more than my brother or Beth.

Elliot turns the camera on when I reach the basement. The door creaks as I open it wide. Only a faint amount of light leads down the uneven stairs. I click on the flashlight we’ve brought with us. I’ve seen my fair share of basements in the last year. Even though I should be used to them by now, it still seems like I’m descending into the pit of hell with every new house we enter. I think about how everyone is gathered by the computer monitors in the den, watching my every move. Don’t mess this up, Ange, I think. Everyone’s counting on you.

I’m about to take the first step when Carrie peers around the corner. She’s dressed in her pajamas and lets out a whine. “Daddy? What’s happening?”

Frank appears behind her. He whispers ‘sorry’ to us. “It’s okay, sweetie. Go back to bed.” He picks Carrie up and she rests her chin on his shoulder. They slip back into the den.

“You ready?” Elliot asks.

The steps look rickety and small. My hands shake. As soon as this is over, I’ll never have to see Frank and his adorable daughter again. What’s the big deal? Why do I care? Because you have a conscience. I clench and unclench my fists.

“Want to take a minute?” Elliot asks.

“No. I’ll be alright.”