“I’m not sure,” I lie again, and follow it up with some truth. “But you know my dad. He’s smart and overly cautious.” I don’t need to sell this; she’s been at my house multiple times a week for the past twelve years and she’s well aware.

She eyes me, not entirely convinced. “Does he know you’re here right now, climbing through my window in the middle of the night?”

I take a step toward her, shaking my head. “But I just had to come to see you. I had to let you know I was okay. And, well, I needed to tell you that I won’t be in touch for a little while.” My voice is smaller than it was before and it’s hard to look at her. I can only imagine how betrayed she must feel. “But you don’t have to worry; I’m okay and my dad’s okay.” As I hear myself speak, I begin to wonder if I made the right choice in coming here and how much of this was actually for me, because I couldn’t stand the idea of not seeing her.

She wipes her nose. “And whoever hurt your aunt, your dad thinks they might want to hurt you, too?” she asks.

“He doesn’t know,” I say. “But he wants to be certain before we return. So, Em, you can’t say anything about me coming here, not to your parents, not to anyone.”

She nods reluctantly, like even though she understands, she doesn’t like it one bit.

“I love you, Emily Jane Banks,” I say, and she lifts her chin.

“Don’t ‘I love you’ me, Nova. This isn’t a goodbye.”

I nod, desperately trying to collect myself, because all I can think is: This is a goodbye, the hardest one of my life. I’ve imagined seeing her so many times over these past few weeks, but in my imaginary scenario filled with hugs and crying, I didn’t take into consideration how much it would hurt to walk away from her, this time knowing I might never come back.

There is a light tap on the window and my heart jumps into my throat. I whip around, blinking at the silhouette crouched on the roof.

“Ash?” I say in a shocked tone as he lifts the window, letting in the cold December air.

Emily’s eyes are so wide that I wonder if they will ever return to normal. “Who the heck is this?” She points at Ash but looks at me.

I don’t get a chance to respond because Ash starts talking.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have to go,” he says, and I don’t know if I’m horrified that he followed me without me knowing it or grateful that he showed up and interrupted this conversation before I broke down in front of Emily.