I remembered the feeling of her slipping away—no, being yanked away. And I remembered the way I had tightened my grip before we got to the road. And now that moment of shared uncertainty, of kindness on her part—how had she known I needed her hand just then?—had been turned inside out. I put my forehead on the cool surface of the table and stayed there until the motion sensor lights clicked off. Eventually, I got up. But I couldn’t go eat. I went back to my room until it was time to meet in the prep room. I sat there on the edge of my bed, reciting messages to keep the other thoughts from my head.

I am still Marguerite Eliot. I will always be Marguerite Eliot…

DON’T COME FOR ME. Stay safe…

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

“As a reward for such a successful test run, we’ve decided to keep the team together.” Mellin placed her notebook down on the table next to her and crossed her arms, still smiling.

“Wait, what?” I startled to attention. The team?

“Great news, right?” Mitch called from the other side of the prep room. I spun toward him. Sure enough, he was back in his civilian clothes from yesterday, now genuinely dirty, his pack full and already on his back.

I felt dread and panic skip into my gut. I had to hold it together. Goddammit. If I were really who they thought I was, I would think this was good news, right? “Yes, great news.”

“You did so spectacularly together, we figured we’d give you another chance to excel.” Agent Mellin opened a drawer in the desk and pulled out a piece of paper. “This is a signed order that lays out repercussions and corrective measures should these instructions not be followed. It has already been approved and will be executed at the first sign of trouble.”

She placed it on the desk, turned it around, and slid it across to me. With Mitch leaning over my shoulder, I read it out loud.

“One. If the field officers do not join the target group or should they make any attempts to go AWOL, the target group shall be terminated immediately.

“Two. The field officers will be monitored by aerial and remote surveillance. Should it appear that the field officers have notified the targets in any way and made them aware of the plan, the entire group shall be terminated immediately.

“Three. If one field officer recognizes that the other field officer is not following instructions, they are required to break from the group and notify local Recruiters (location to be within ten kilometers of target). In that case, the entire group shall be terminated immediately.

“Four. Should this mission be carried out successfully in its entirety, the field officers shall be returned to the school and promoted to Agent and Supervising Agent status. However, should the mission fail, the entire group, including said field officers, shall be terminated immediately.”

“Are we clear on what ‘terminated’ means?” Her voice was an echo from far away. “Not captured, not brought back to the Program or even the ward. Terminated, in the field and without hesitation.”