“Larry says he was attacked. That it was planned.”

“That’s terrible.” My family was being attacked; I didn’t have much left over for Larry.

“They asked him about Silvina. They asked about taxidermy.”

“That’s strange,” I said.

But maybe it was normal, because I didn’t feel shock or panic or any of the usual emotions. Maybe by then I realized I was too far in to quit.

“Is it?” Allie snapped. “You had a bird in your desk drawer.”

Everybody knew things they shouldn’t.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She’d come close, defiant, like I was the cause and not another victim.

“And when Larry couldn’t give them any information, they ran him over.”

“Allie—”

“No. No. Don’t.”

“Allie…” But I didn’t have much to say. I was in a different place, or the same place, a different room in the maze, and no time or patience.

But here it came.

“You asked me to look up Silvina’s information knowing it might be dangerous. Not client-takes-you-to-dinner dangerous. Worse than that. And it’s not for a potential account, no matter what you say. You haven’t even reported a lead to sales. And I’m going to tell Alex, and Larry is going to tell the police what I told him.”

I knew Larry hadn’t told the police, calculating how much time must’ve gone by since Allie’s visit. They would have dropped by my house or the office by now.

But Allie would tell Alex. I already knew he frowned on employees having “hobbies,” by which he meant he was paranoid about employees doing a little business on the side. Would he think I was cheating on the company? Would he believe her?

“I’ll fire you if you tell Alex,” I said.

She drew herself up at that, gave me an appraising look, as if seeing me for the first time.

“I mean it,” I said.

“No, you don’t understand,” Allie said, shoving a finger at me. “I quit. I am quitting and I am never coming back to this fucking place again.”

Quivering with anger and fear. If only she could see how I was doing the same, deep inside.

“Allie.”

“I left one last report on your desk. You’re putting the whole company at risk.”

She stormed away from me. Receding down the corridor until she was just a wraith, a trick of the light.

I think I made a motion as if to stop her, but only after it was too late. Too late in so many ways. I wanted—needed—to say something else, but she was gone.

Because I’ve lied to you about Allie. Just a little. I did care about her. I just hid it from her like something I needed to hide from myself. Because I couldn’t be seen to care. If she faltered. If she failed. If I failed her.