“Where are you going with this, Erin?”

An awful ache in her chest moved upward into her throat. “I did something reprehensible that night. I went to the sheriff’s department and used my clearance to get on a computer to search all your records. Please know I immediately regretted doing it. I had no right to invade your privacy that way. I read all about the rape charge filed against you and also the trial transcripts.”

For what seemed an interminably long while to Erin, Wyatt just stared at her. Finally, he said, “Why did you do that? I told you what I chose to share with you. The rest of it—that’s something I’ve deliberately left in the past. The only people I care about who know are my parents and grandfather. More recently, I finally told Kennedy, but only because I had to disabuse him of the notion that I was gay.”

“I’m so sorry, Wyatt. I should never have done it. It was your secret to keep, and I was wrong to dig into your past. In my own defense, it didn’t seem wrong to me until I read all the testimony. All court documents are normally public records. Civilians can order the transcripts, but they have to pay for them. I didn’t realize until afterward that I had unearthed something that was, to you, very private and painful.”

He pushed to his feet and tossed what remained of the liquid in his glass onto the fire. The alcohol flared in the flames like a mini bomb. “Private and painful?” His jaw muscle began to tic. “What happened that night will haunt me until I die. And the trial was the most frightening and humiliating time of my life. Do you think I’m proud of what I did to that poor woman? Do you think I want anyone to know?” He crushed the Solo cup with a squeeze of his big hand, and the loud snap of the plastic made Erin jerk. “I wasn’t found guilty, but the truth is, I raped her. When a woman says no, she means no, and the man with her should stop. I didn’t.”

“You couldn’t hear her!” Erin cried.

“But I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear her. I wanted to score that night. In order to pick up women, I had to pretend I wasn’t deaf. And that was all I cared about, scoring. Don’t you get it? Can’t you comprehend how ashamed I am now of my thought process that night? You had no right to read all that shit. If I’d wanted you to know all the awful details, I would have told you, damn it!”

Erin gazed after him as he strode away into the darkness. It was just like in her dream. He had turned his back on her.

“I love you!” she screamed.

Wyatt couldn’t hear her and just kept walking.

* * *

Wyatt was shaking with outrage as he circled the lake. He was furious with Erin, and he needed to walk it off. How could she have dared to dig up his past? He’d never read the court documents, but it was humiliating to think of Erin seeing them. Did those transcripts reveal only the words spoken? Or did they also include the emotional outbursts of the witnesses? He had blubbered like a baby on the stand. And that poor woman. Dear God, she’d grown so upset during cross-examination that she’d fallen apart and the judge had called for a recess. If any man on earth needed to feel guilty for the rest of his life, it was undoubtedly him. He had harmed a woman, all in the name of painting the town red and getting his rocks off.