“Stop taking him to IKEA for starters. Isn’t it against our heritage to buy meatballs from anywhere but Italy?”

There was a pause, and Zack got the sense that his mother had shrugged. “He likes them. I like them. Everybody likes them. Besides, it’s my heritage. Your father just married into it. The sauce is Nana Gemma’s recipe, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ll see you Sunday, then. Seven?”

“Sharp. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Zack hung up and returned the phone to his pocket.

Not even two minutes later, it buzzed again. Slightly bewildered, Zack pulled it out. This time, the caller ID read “Not Mom.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Zack muttered, sliding the lock screen to answer. “Hey, Dad. I just got off the phone with Mom.”

“Hey, Zack, it’s Dad.”

Zack facepalmed. “I’m well aware of that. What can I do for you?”

“I’m just calling to give you a heads-up about this Sunday.”

“Yeah, Mom already told me she expects me to be there.”

“She doesn’t just expect it, Zack. She’s counting on it.”

“Oh no,” Zack wheezed as frosty realization engulfed him. “What has Mom got planned this time? Is it a surprise party?”

“Your birthday isn’t until January.”

“Exactly! I’d never see it coming!”

Zack heard a long-suffering sigh on the other end of the line.

“Well, what is it, then? Is she marrying me off into some rich European family in exchange for land and my weight in gold?”

“If she were, I wouldn’t be warning you. I’d be signing the paperwork and packing up your room.”

“You know you don’t have to keep it how it was. I’m not coming back.”

“Try telling your mother that. She still thinks you’re going to go back to school.”

Zack made a rude noise.

“Anyway, your mother thinks you need more direction in your life. And she intends to tell you that. Your sister is going to be there as well.”

Zack nearly choked on his beer. “She made Bianca fly in? What is this, an intervention?”

“Bianca was going to be in town anyway, but I think Mom plans to capitalize on the situation. I just wanted to warn you so you’d have a chance to prepare yourself. Mom means well, and I don’t want you flying off the handle like you usually do when people start telling you things you don’t want to hear.”

Zack chose to ignore that and asked, “Is anyone else going to be there?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Wonderful. An audience. My own family has plans to ambush me, and I’m supposed to just sit there and take it.”

“No one is going to ambush you. Well, Mom is, but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll grin and bear it. It’s about time you learned to face things like an adult.”

“How is being fake the same thing as being an adult?”

“Maybe you’ll understand one day when you finally grow up.”

Zack flirted with the idea of hanging up on him. Instead, he reined in his temper and responded in a shadow of a civil tone. “You think the answer to everything is to nod and smile like nothing’s wrong.”