“But it’s true,” Matt protested. “Orsk is all about scripted disorientation. The store wants you to surrender to a programmed shopping experience. The Cuyahoga Panopticon was the same thing. The warden believed he could cure a criminal brain using forced labor, mindless repetition, and total surveillance. This was back when people believed that architecture could be designed to generate a psychological effect.”

Matt led Amy past a row of gleaming white Helvetesniks, and they took the shortcut to Wardrobes.

They emerged to find themselves standing in front of a Plexiglas display case. Inside, a mechanical arm dumbly opened and closed the door of a Yclept media cabinet over and over to demonstrate the strength and durability of Orsk hinges.

Somehow they’d traveled in a circle.

“Weren’t you paying attention to where we were going?” Amy asked.

“I was monologuing,” Matt said. “But this basically proves my point. If you lose your focus in this store for even a moment, you’re lost. Get distracted and the next thing you know, you’re dropping eight hundred bucks on a fiberboard Runcate.”

They returned to the Bright and Shining Path and followed the arrows that would lead them back to Kitchens, Dining Rooms, and, ultimately, Bedrooms.

“You’d think I’d have this place figured out by now,” Matt said.

“Sure,” Amy said dryly. “Sounds like you’ve got your whole life figured out.”

“Not my life,” Matt said. “Just my Escape from Ohio plan. Ghost Bomb is going to be huge, me and Trinity will live happily ever, and the next time you’re channel-surfing on Bravo, you’ll—dammit!”

Both Matt and Amy stopped. They had arrived in a sea of birch, black, and white tabletops, desks, and rolling swivel chairs. Somehow they’d walked backward into Home Office.

“See what I mean?” Matt said. “Our great lord and master, Tom Larsen, built his stores to induce the Gruen Transfer: a sense of confusion and geographic despair that keeps you completely disoriented. Like Ikea or Crate and Barrel. Heck, I got lost in a Sam’s Club last week.”

“I get it,” Amy said. “You’ve made your point.”

Matt’s cell phone rang and he checked the display. “Trinity,” he said. He answered the phone, agreed to meet her back at the Müskk, and hung up. “They’re waiting for us.”

Amy thought only a few minutes had passed, but when she checked her watch she realized nearly half an hour had gone by. Basil would be wondering what had happened.

They reversed course on the Bright and Shining Path, for a third time heading back toward Kitchens and Dining Rooms. “I need to get Ruth Anne and head back to the break area,” Amy said. “What do you want me to tell Basil?”

“What do you mean?”

“When he hears you guys sneaked into the store, he’s going to be pissed.”