“Billy, dating and getting your fuck on are two different things. You and me have always been the prettiest of the crew. Rhonda and Reese couldn’t never fuck with us, as far as clothes or looks. These niggaz used to be sick over you, ma. But now you on some other shit. I don’t know if it was Sol’s death, or some knucklehead nigga breaking your heart, but you gotta shake that shit off, Billy. The world is too big and there’s way too much dick out here for you to have to go that route.”

“Yoshi, you’re just like them bitches Reese and Rhonda. All of y’all think you know some shit,” Billy said, becoming very defensive.

Yoshi continued to stare at her seriously. “On the real, I know you’ve seen what the other half was like, but that ain’t none of nobody’s business but yours. I love you the same. I’m just wondering, what made you go there?”

Yoshi had definitely struck a nerve. Billy had always held her heart close to her chest, but Yoshi had known her for a very long time. “Yo, when Sol got killed, I was fucking up behind it. I mean … we were both young, but there was no doubt that we loved each other. During the time I was mourning him, I had niggaz offering me their condolences and shit, like they were sorry to see Sol go. He had blocked their game in life and was still doing it in death, because all them niggaz wanted to fuck and I was dead loyal to my man.”

“Billy, I can only imagine how you must’ve felt,” Yoshi said sympathetically.

Billy looked at Yoshi with partially glazed eyes and shook her head. “No, you can’t. Sol wasn’t just some nigga I was fucking, he was chosen. God put him here to be a Divine reflection of me, Yoshi. Not having him felt like someone had chopped off one of my limbs: sometimes you still feel it, even though there’s nothing there.”

Yoshi averted Billy’s gaze when it fell on her. To see her so exposed made Yoshi somewhat uncomfortable. She was used to Billy being the hard, emotionally in control member of their group, but watching the tears well up in her eyes brought a lump to Yoshi’s throat.

Billy absently thumbed the heel of a shoe someone had abandoned as she continued her sad tale. “He said he would be there for us against all odds. I guess a bullet didn’t factor into the promise.” Seeing the confused look on Yoshi’s face, Billy decided to enlighten her. “I was six weeks pregnant the day Sol was killed.”

“I didn’t know,” Yoshi said with watery eyes.