With a ruffle of wings and leaves, the blackbird alit in a bush a few feet away.

“I seek Him every day of my life.” Wedging his heels between rocks, he bent his knees and laced his fingers loosely atop his thighs. “You know, I didn’t want to join the church.”

He had a choice? She lifted her brows.

He nodded. “The decision was mine. When Amish children turn sixteen, they are given the choice to join the church. With the community’s permission, many youths begin a time of experimentation. I suppose you’ve heard about that. Most come back, but a few don’t. I wanted so badly to be one of those few.”

The blackbird called again, but the cheerful song rang hollow. “Why did you return?”

“Elizabeth could never leave her mother. And I couldn’t leave her.”

She ran her finger over a smooth gray pebble lodged in the dam. “I see.”

“Nora married Elizabeth’s brother, Levi. Rebecca was their first child. I never saw her so happy as when Rebecca was born. She was always singing—so in love with that baby girl.” He dropped his gaze and traced his right thumb back and forth along his left, following the line of a raised, white scar. “Elizabeth was expecting our first child, and Rebecca was almost three. We had an off Sunday—no church in our local district—but Elizabeth planned to worship in her home district, north of here. Eli and Nora wanted to go along, but Rebecca was feverish and miserable, the sickest I’ve ever seen her. The girl begged me to stay, and I was only too glad.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I was baptized for my wife, not for off Sunday services.” He lifted his gaze downstream. “It was too late—too dark when one of your police cars arrived at the house. My Elizabeth was dead. Levi was dead. Nora was in the hospital with a badly broken hip.”

The blackbird sang again. Water trickled through the dam like the tinkling of bamboo chimes. “Oh, Jonas,” she breathed. If he heard, he gave no indication. His gaze remained soft and distant.

“The driver of a logging truck carrying a full load of timber didn’t see the buggy in his path. By the time he realized Levi was stopped to make a turn, he couldn’t slow down.” He nodded slowly and clenched his fingers until the knuckles cracked. “The driver survived with mild injuries. Of course, the horse was dead, too. Levi’s best mare. Without Levi, I couldn’t handle the farm. Maybe I lost the heart to try. I leased the fields. I can earn more money doing carpentry.”