Chapter Thirteen

When I wake, it’s late evening, but Maeve is still asleep in the chair near my bed. I don’t wish to wake her, so I quietly creep from the room. It feels as though a leaden weight drags on my every step. I hope Maeve is right about it lessening over time.

But there is something I must do.

I knock on Sebastian’s door, and it opens moments later. He breathes out, relief clear on his face. “I was worried about you,” he says, holding the door open wide.

I enter his room and spin to face him, letting my skirts tickle my ankles as they settle back down.

“Are you all right?” he asks. “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling after what you discovered.”

I sink into the chair in the corner of his room, letting the cushion swallow me up. “Sort of,” I say, wrinkling my nose. “I guess I never really thought we’d find it. So it’s not a surprise, but for one moment there, I so hoped—almost believed—there was something left to find. It hurts to have that hope dashed.” I rub the center of my chest.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says. And what else is there to say? I know if he could, he’d give me back my memories of my family. But he can’t, so I have truly lost them for good.

“Thanks,” I say. I give him a half-hearted smile. “I’m glad you at least found your family.”

I mean it kindly, but it makes Sebastian frown, setting his mind to worry about Jemma’s tardiness.

“Don’t worry,” I say. “I know Jemma will be here soon. I’m sure of it. She’d never leave you.” I lean across the space between us and squeeze his hand. “We’re family too. And you’ll always have me. It may sound strange, but however horrible Lady Aisling was to steal us, it did bring us together. You’re basically the only family I have.”

Sebastian squeezes my hand fiercely. “And you have a place in my family. Always, I promise.”

“Thank you,” I say, taking a deep breath. “But there’s something we need to do.”

Sebastian gives me a quizzical look.

“We need to talk to the head librarian, Euna. I want to thank her. It’s important to me that she knows we found what we needed and that we’ll be leaving as soon as Jemma joins us.”

I head for Sebastian’s door, but he stops me. “You want to go right now?”

I shrug. “I’d rather do it sooner than later. And we can stop in the kitchens on the way back to have some dinner. I’m starving, and the dining hall must be closed at this late hour.”

Sebastian comes with me through the dark halls, and we walk in a comfortable silence, my eyes roaming farther than my feet. Every hallway here is a little different, yet also much the same at the rest. The same dark, wood-paneled walls and gleaming stone floor, polished to a shine by countless feet over the centuries. But Sebastian’s hall has glass cases of strange things dotting the corridor. Small statuaries of important figures from long ago, ornately painted bowls with swooping curves, and other fascinating little objects that claim my attention. As we near the library level, huge tapestries line the walls, each one a story just waiting to be discovered. I can’t help but stop at every one. Sebastian practically has to drag me away.