Back Hold Your Fire
Chapters (20)
  1. Cover
  2. The Leopard Next Door
  3. Tongue-Tied
  4. Powerful Owl
  5. Arm’s Length
  6. Harbour
  7. Monstera
  8. Frogs’ Legs
  9. Hold Your Fire
  10. Blood Bag
  11. The Drydown
  12. Rip
  13. Exchange
  14. Joyriders
  15. The One You’ve Been Waiting For
  16. Future Moon
  17. Break Character
  18. Animus
  19. Acknowledgements
  20. About the Author

‘Hippies,’ he said, giving a little humph of derision. ‘It always descends into violence with them, doesn’t it?’

We thought we’d come up with an innovative new placement for attitude thrusters, one that might improve their ability to direct the Starling’s course. We were waiting for the prototype to be built so that testing could begin. It was a long process, and while it was happening Roger was on edge. If we failed, he would be the one answering questions, explaining the budget, justifying our choices.

He was only too happy to have a distraction.

‘Tell him to hit her back,’ he said.

‘I thought of that. But she’s a girl.’

‘Doesn’t really matter at that age. Some girls nowadays are monstrously big. It’s the hormones in chicken, they think. All these little overdeveloped girls with huge feet, wearing training bras before they’re in primary school – a disgrace, if you ask me. Maisie’s chicken intake is supervised very closely. We’re thinking of moving her to game birds. Pheasant, quail, that sort of thing.’

We were sitting in his office. He had a whiteboard on the wall with NO-ESCAPE ZONE written on it, circled in red. We both wore beautiful suits. His was navy, his shirt blue, his tie white and wet because he’d spilled jus on it at lunch and rinsed it in the bathroom.

‘What about insults – has he tried those? Is she fat? Ugly? Stupid?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Kids don’t have to be PC. If she’s slow, or deaf, or has an overbite or something he can say it – he’s got carte blanche, really. He should take advantage while he can.’

‘I’ve told him to ignore her.’

‘Well, that never works.’

‘I’ve written a letter to the centre.’

He laughed outright at this, a big expulsion of garlic-scented air.

‘Goodness me. It’s like you want him to be picked on,’ he said. ‘Seriously, Fifi. Take him aside, and show him how to kick her in the shins.’

Blossomings sent me a very polite and very thorough letter in response to my concerns. They thanked me for taking the time to write. They remarked upon what a special little boy Samuel was, and how they cherished him, as did his classmates. They said they took my complaint very seriously, and after an internal review and lengthy discussions with all involved, had decided that no further action needed to be taken.

I tore the letter up, enjoying the feeling of the heavy, recycled stock they used coming apart in my hands.

I wasn’t sure what to do next. I supposed I would have to settle for biding my time.

One night, Connor brought me a glass of wine after he’d bathed Samuel and put him to bed. He rubbed my shoulders.