Watching, waiting, calibrating, readjusting. It’s what I do.

I’m having to do some of that now. Readjusting. There’s a change in circumstances, one I haven’t informed my employers of yet. Thing is, I’ve crossed a line, and by rights, I should tell them to send someone like Target in to replace me and walk away.

I won’t.

I haven't even scratched the surface of whatever this is between me and Carolina, and I don’t intend to walk away. It’s rare I find myself with such an overwhelming attraction to anyone. She’s broken through the thick veil of fog that simmers between me and the world. Everything is muted but not her. She’s loud and vibrant. Carolina is glorious technicolor compared to the mundanity I see everywhere else.

Even on my land in Montana, where I can breathe and enjoy the beauty, more and more, the veil descends, dulling everything. I realize with a shock it’s been absent these past two days. I might be livid with her at times, but at least I’m feeling.

The realization is profound and unsettling.

I started to get concerned at the dulling of everything. The only times I felt alive in the past year or so were either working, focused on a target, or riding far too fast to be safe. Galloping over the fields is exhilarating, and I would push too hard, too fast.

The rest of my time I spent as if in semi-hibernation.

Not here. Not with Carolina.

I scrub a hand over my short beard and contemplate sending an email back to Konstantin stating sit rep: All is well, but by the way, I’m fucking the client.

Yeah, he’s going to lose his shit. Which is hypocritical if you ask me because I know a little of how he met his partner, and he basically kidnapped her, but he’s the boss, and I’m the employee. It all brings me back to—do I tell them to send Target in?

That way, I can either walk away before things get too deep, or I can stick around and …what? Date her? This isn’t that.

I don’t know what it is, but it’s not that. We aren’t going to go from last night to dinner and a movie.

The idea of Target here, in her space, guarding her, has my hackles rising.

No. Not happening.

I shut the cover on my iPad. What K and Andrius don’t know won’t hurt them. It’s not as if I’m unmotivated to do my job properly. You could say I’m more so now.

I’ve been inside the woman. Felt her come around me, held her tight as she slept. No one else can watch over her the way I can.