I look away and glance down at the table top as if the graffiti scratched into it is the most interesting novel I've ever read.

Katie woz ere and Davy sucks cocks is suddenly so fascinating to me I can’t look away. I can feel his gaze still on me, though, heating my skin. It’s as if, despite only knowing him mere hours, I’m somehow attuned to him.

Jade returns from her trip to the bathroom, and as she passes Samuel, her fingers trail over his shoulder and down his arm. I love that girl like my own blood, but suddenly I want to rip her fingers clean off her hand. God, I need to get a grip. I'm not usually this possessive, which is probably why I keep getting cheated on. The idea of checking someone's phone or questioning them as to where they've been, isn't something that normally crosses my mind.

My life is busy, hectic, and interesting. It means I’m often up in my own head, as I think about things like facts and figures, future plans, and all kinds of interesting information about art. I don't have time to sit and dwell as to where my boyfriend might be at any given moment. My mother has said to me a few times that I drift through life as if in a world of my own. I suppose in many ways I do. That world is a world full of art, beauty, and all the things I'm fascinated with. Then again, maybe it would be different if I fell head over heels in love.

Is it sad to be past my mid-twenties and have never been remotely in love? I've had plenty of boyfriends, and a lot of guys that I really liked, but I've never, in truth, lost my heart. Not in that can’t-think-about-anything-else-but-him way my friends have. The very fact that I'm upset and angry at that cheating bastard doing it to me again, but I'm hardly crying into my pillow for hours on end every night, proves I didn't actually love him. The panic is more at losing a friend and having been made a complete fool of than the thought of losing him.

This, though, seeing my best friend flirt with a guy who I have the hots for in a way I've never had for anyone before is stinging in a way I never expected.

Jade takes her seat and glances at me still smiling, but it slowly fades. “Darling, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. You know, just trying to get over the fact that I've been cheated on again, and with a supposed friend.”