Cathal could not be brought to account, for he was nowhere to be found. An investigation of his quarters revealed not only that he was missing, but that he had taken his pack and belongings with him. His horse was still in the stables. Apart from his cryptic conversation with me, he had not left word with anyone. Despite the presence of guards all around the keep, nobody had seen him go.

Meanwhile, I found that decisions were being made without my being consulted at all. Muirrin had asked that Coll and Eilis move to the part of the keep that housed those men-at-arms who had wives and children, to be watched over by Doran and Nuala while Mother was dealing with the initial shock of the baby’s disappearance. Having seen Mother earlier, I recognized that this was a sensible idea, but I should have been the one to arrange it, and they should have waited until I could talk to the children, reassure them, let them ask their questions. As it was, when Father finally let me go back upstairs, it was to find that Sibeal had already taken the younger ones over to Doran’s quarters and would stay there to help them settle in tonight. Muirrin came out of Mother’s room to tell me this, and to say, not unkindly, that Mother did not want to see me or indeed anyone other than Father, Eithne, and Muirrin herself. There would be hard times ahead if Finbar was not found soon.

“Don’t look like that, Clodagh,” Muirrin said. She’d been crying; her eyes were puffy and red.

“I can’t help it,” I whispered, close to tears again myself. “They think it’s my fault, Father, Mother, everyone. Nobody trusts me anymore. I was watching him the whole time, apart from just an instant.” I did not put my worst fear into words. Father had suggested I was losing my wits. Maybe it was true.

“They don’t really blame you,” Muirrin said. “They’re too shocked to think clearly. Later on they’ll realize it couldn’t have been your fault, but right now they’re too hurt to be rational about it. You must let this wash over you, Clodagh. Just keep up your normal routine and take one day at a time. That’s all we can do.”

“I can’t even do that,” I said. “Nobody seems to want me for anything anymore.”

“I expect the household can function reasonably well without you. You’re just used to doing things Mother’s way, which means supervising absolutely everything.”

“But Eilis and Coll—I didn’t even see them before they were whisked away—”

“Father thinks you’re too disturbed by what’s happened to perform your usual duties,” Muirrin said. “It’s actually better to let Sibeal cope with the younger ones, under the circumstances.”