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Contents ( 47)
  1. HEARTLESS
  2. The Parasol Protectorate: Book the Fourth
  3. GAIL CARRIGER
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. PROLOGUE
  6. P Is for Preternatural
  7. CHAPTER ONE
  8. In Which Lady Alexia Maccon Waddles
  9. CHAPTER TWO
  10. Wherein Alexia Will Not Be Flung
  11. CHAPTER THREE
  12. Matters Ghostly
  13. CHAPTER FOUR
  14. Where Tethered Specters Meet
  15. CHAPTER FIVE
  16. The Lair of the Octopus
  17. CHAPTER SIX
  18. In Which Mrs. Tunstell Proves Useful
  19. CHAPTER SEVEN
  20. The Werewolves of Woolsey Castle
  21. CHAPTER EIGHT
  22. Death by Teapot
  23. CHAPTER NINE
  24. In Which the Past Complicates the Present
  25. CHAPTER TEN
  26. Ivy’s Agent Doom
  27. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  28. Wherein Hairmuffs Become All the Rage
  29. CHAPTER TWELVE
  30. Formerly Beatrice Lefoux
  31. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  32. The Octopus Stalks at Moonlight
  33. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  34. In Which Lady Maccon Mislays Her Parasol
  35. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  36. Where Dirigibles Fear to Tread
  37. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  38. A Clot of Vampires
  39. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  40. In Which We All Learn a Little Something About Prudence
  41. extras
  42. meet the author
  43. introducing
  44. Contents
  45. BY GAIL CARRIGER
  46. Praise for The Parasol Protectorate Series
  47. Copyright

“Oh, now, Conall, I scarcely think that necessary. The surgeon, I mean. You may, of course, summon the police if you think it best, but I hardly require the services of a physician for a twisted ankle.”

Lord Maccon entirely ignored this and marched from the room, already yelling at the top of his considerable lungs for Rumpet and any claviger who might be awake.

Lady Maccon, ankle throbbing dreadfully, tried to go back to sleep, knowing that in very short order her room would be swarming with surgeons and policemen and that her dozing time would be drastically curtailed.

As predicted, Alexia got very little respite that day, which barely made much difference, as she was forced to rest that night after the surgeon pronounced her unfit to walk. She was confined to her bed with a splint and barley water and told that on no account was she to move for an entire week. Worse, she was also told that she was to lay off tea for the next twenty-four hours, as imbibing any hot liquid was bound to increase the swelling. Alexia called the doctor a quack and threw her bed cap at him. He retreated, but she knew perfectly well that Conall and the rest of Woolsey would see that his instructions were obeyed to the letter.

Lady Maccon was not the kind of woman who could be easily confined to bed for seven hours, let alone seven days. Those who knew her well were already dreading her confinement, and this, so close to that fated time, was seen as a preliminary test as to both her behavior and everyone else’s ability to cope with it. It was pronounced, by Rumpet and Floote much later in some private butler musings, to be an abject failure on all counts. No one survived it intact, least of all Alexia.

By the second day, she was chafing, to put it politely. “Queen Victoria could be in imminent danger and here I lie, confined to my bed by that fool of a physician because of an ankle. It is not to be borne!”

“Certainly not with any grace,” muttered her husband.

Lady Maccon ignored this and continued with her ranting. “And Felicity—who is keeping an eye on Felicity?”

“Professor Lyall has her well in hand, I assure you.”

“Oh, well, if it’s Professor Lyall. He can handle you—I have every confidence in his ability to restrain my sister.” Her tone was petulant, for which she wasn’t entirely to be blamed, being grimy, sore, and stationary. Nor was her lying-in translating to actual rest. She was too far along for the infant-inconvenience to permit anything more than a few fitful minutes of shut-eye at a time.

“Who says he can handle me?” The earl looked most offended by this blight on his independence.

His lady wife arched an eyebrow at him as if to say, Oh, now, Conall, really. She continued on to a new worry, without further disparagement of such frivolous masculine dignity. “Have you had the lads check the aethographic transmitter every evening at sunset? You remember, I’m expecting some very important information.”