Once he stepped inside the Biolab, the feeling for a few hours actually intensified. He made no effort to join the informal morning gathering in Melina’s office. He couldn’t think how he would answer if Pakt or Colt or one of the other gulden addressed him. But the world seemed strange, askew, even as he sat in his own office playing with familiar figures on his computer screen. What was he doing here, what did these numbers mean, and even if he deciphered them, how had he materially benefited the world? Why was he here in the city when everything of any worth or value was several hundred miles distant, living a far more gracious life?

He kept himself locked in his office the whole morning, laboriously going over old formulas just for the comfort of their familiarity. Eventually, some of the symmetry and intractability of the numbers gave him back a measure of security; these were equations that would not change, that held true no matter how they were influenced by outside factors and new variables. Their core values remained intact. They could shift to new places, new formulas, and mean exactly the same thing.

Melina came for him at lunchtime, stepping quietly into the room and shutting the door behind her. For a second, her clipped hair and lively expression looked wrong to him, out of place, but in a moment Leesa’s superimposed image faded. “Good morning,” Nolan said formally. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just came in to chat. You’ve been working awfully hard, and everyone just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Nolan raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had forgotten there were other people in the world who might wonder about him. “Oh. Yes. I’m just a little behind here, and I thought I’d try to catch up—”

Melina crossed the room and took a seat close to his, leaning forward to peer at him. “Is Leesa still here?” she asked.

“No, she left this morning.”

Melina leaned back in her chair. “Ah. I know. It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? When my mother comes in for a visit, I have to take a vacation day after she leaves. I walk around from place to place, reminding myself why I love the city. And I won’t let Julitta come over till I’m back to normal. Otherwise, I say things that hurt her feelings.”

Nolan stared at her, bringing her fine face into sharper focus. “How can they do that to us?” he asked at last. “What kind of indigo magic is it?”