She murmured an excuse and edged out of the room, trying to walk and keep her buttocks firmly clenched at the same time.

Daisy went down the stairs and stood in the hall, but before she could relieve herself of gas, an arm went round her waist and a voice in her ear said, ‘Looking for me, my pretty?’

She swung round and found Peregrine Stockton smiling down at her and twisting his moustache like a stage villain.

‘I needed some air,’ said Daisy. Her eyes, which were green and slightly prominent, felt as if they would burst from their sockets and roll across the floor like two marbles.

‘What about a kiss for a poor chap?’

He tried to slide his arm around her waist again, but Daisy backed off and then exploded. A loud sound like a raspberry echoed around the hall and Daisy stood there with her face flaming.

‘Hem, well, jolly cold day, what,’ he said, backing away. ‘Get back to hear Mother’s lecture, what.’

He darted off up the stairs. Daisy was scarlet with mortification. Her first day out as a companion in all her grand clothes and she had disgraced herself. She trailed miserably back up the stairs. But the first thing that struck her when she entered the drawing-room was that she was far from being the only sufferer. The effect of nut cutlets and raw vegetables on so many middle-aged and elderly digestive systems was taking its toll.

She joined Rose, who was sitting with a scented handkerchief pressed to her nose.

‘There’s an awful smell in here. What is it?’ whispered Rose.

‘Essence of fart,’ whispered Daisy. ‘It was them nut cutlets.’

‘Daisy, you must not use these crude Anglo-Saxon words.’

‘What should I have said?’

‘Shhh, I’ll tell you afterwards.’

Mrs Stockton was now lecturing her audience on the benefits of vegetarianism. Then she asked for questions. One middle-aged man who looked fit and healthy, certainly compared with the others about him, rose to his feet. ‘I am a vegetarian,’ he said. ‘But I think people should be told that there are many attractive and hot vegetarian dishes which are just as good as meat. Eating too many raw vegetables can be upsetting to the stomach.’ A sudden volley like gunshot from the ladies behind him interrupted his speech. Daisy emulated Rose, and pressed a handkerchief to her nose. The gentleman tried to go on, but his face suddenly creased up with laughter. He tried to control himself but a great guffaw burst from his lips.

‘The lecture is finished,’ shouted Mrs Stockton. There was a polite smattering of applause.

Mrs Stockton then positioned herself at the door of the drawing-room to say goodbye to her guests.

Rose shook her hand and said, ‘I wonder if I might consult you. I am very interested in vegetarianism.’