I retreated rapidly back towards the Discovery, calling for Rosie to follow, but she remained rooted to the spot, facing the back door, still barking loudly. Ideally, I would have loved to get back in the car and drive away, but I felt I couldn’t leave Rosie, not least because she would have run out onto the road to chase me, and I’d already lost one dog through being hit by traffic.

I used my mobile phone to dial 999.

‘Emergency,’ said the operator, ‘Which service?’

‘Police.’

I was put through.

‘I wish to report intruders at my property,’ I said. ‘And they are still here.’

They took the details and promised to send a squad car immediately.

I then turned the Discovery slightly to the left so that its headlights lit up the side of the house before retrieving the baseball bat I had thrown onto the back seat in the Catterick racecourse car park. I would have loved to have had two proper working hands to hold it, but one and a half would have to do.

I went back down the side of the house. Rosie hadn’t moved, although her barking had now reduced to a constant menacing growl.

‘Come on, where are you?’ I shouted as I advanced. ‘I’ve called the police. Now show yourselves.’

Two of them appeared around the corner of the house, both wearing balaclavas. I was sure they were the same pair from Catterick. One of them still held his trusty baseball bat and the other now sported a long pole to replace the bat he had left behind on that last occasion, the one I now held at the ready against him.

Rosie started barking loudly again and the two of them took a step backwards, as if they were both afraid of her. Good girl, I thought.

Emboldened, I shouted at them again. ‘Come on then, you bastards.’ I swung the baseball bat around in a circle above my head. ‘I’m ready for you. Show me what you’ve got.’

I could hear a distant but fast-approaching police siren, and the men heard it too. Even through their balaclavas, I thought I could detect a moment of panic in their eyes.

They rushed towards me, stepping round Rosie. I swung my bat at the lead one’s head but he brushed it aside with his forearm and almost ran straight over me, Jonah Lomu style, such was his determination to get away. Both of them disappeared down the side of the house and out towards the road, leaving me gasping for air on the ground in their wake.

Rosie came over and playfully licked my face. I almost laughed and tickled her tummy. But she was far more interested in getting fed than anything else.