‘I patted my trouser pockets and looked round my room, as if I was looking for it. Then I told him I must have left it in Mr Kline’s car. He then called it! Thank God you told me to put it on airplane mode. Anyway, when he couldn’t hear it ringing or even vibrating, he seemed happy it wasn’t here.’

‘And where was it, in fact?’

‘I put it in my teapot on the shelf over the sink in my kitchenette. The phone stuck up over the rim of the pot and I put the lid on top of it, so that just the camera lens was visible. Luckily both my phone and the teapot are white but, nevertheless, I could clearly see that little black unblinking eye of the camera lens staring at me all the time. I was terrified Valance would see it too. It seemed so obvious to me, but he never did. As you told me, I started the video before I went down to open the front door. Good job I did too. I’d have never had a chance otherwise.’

‘Did it work?’ I asked.

‘Did it work?’ He laughed. ‘I should get a bloody Oscar. When I was sure he’d finally gone and I’d double-checked twice that the front door was locked, I went up and spent some time looking at it. It’s great, even if the sound is a bit muffled. Must be because it was in the teapot. But you can still hear what is said, that’s if you put the volume up to maximum.’

‘Wonderful,’ I said. ‘Well done. I know I’ll see the video later but tell me now, what did he say?’

‘He was really angry, not that he raised his voice or anything, nothing the neighbours would hear, nor even Doris if she’d been downstairs.

‘He said what the hell did I think I was doing winning when he had specifically told me not to. Just like you said, I told him that Meeru was just too good, and it would have been too obvious to the stewards if I’d stopped him, but Valance said I should have found a way, even suggested I could have fallen off during the run-in. Bloody stupid man.

‘Anyway, he told me he’d lost a packet of money because I’d won and I would have to pay it all back to him. Says he’s going to up the percentage of my fees I pay to him until I do. It’s not fair. And he told me not to even think about trying to change agents or he would have to send the video to the BHA. I ask you, those were his exact words—he would have to send it.

‘I tell you, if he bloody does, the one I’ve just made of him will be following it pretty sharpish.’

‘Did he say anything else?’