Dedication

My thanks go to Ben Haslam, Middleham racehorse trainer, David ‘Shippy’ Ellis, jockeys’ agent.

and, as always with my love, to Debbie.

CHAPTER

1

‘SID, IT’S OVER.’

‘What’s over?’

‘Our marriage.’

I stared at Marina.

‘What on earth do you mean?’

‘What I say. There are three of us in this relationship and it’s too crowded. So I’m leaving.’

‘But I love you.’

‘Not as much as you love that!’

Marina pointed at my left hand.

I say ‘my left hand’, but the reality is that it is someone else’s, or at least it was before it was surgically attached to my own forearm below the elbow.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘I’m not,’ she said. ‘Ever since that thing arrived, I’ve been shunted down the pecking order, and I’ve had enough. Over the last few years, I’ve tried my best to love it, but every time you reach out for me with it, I still feel I’m being touched up by a complete stranger, and it makes me shudder.’

I was stunned. What was she talking about? My new left hand was now fully part of me. It might have once been part of another person, but it was now totally mine, and it was a fully integrated part of my own body.

Only then did I spot the suitcase standing behind her.

‘You mean you’re leaving right now?’

She nodded, choking back tears.

‘Darling, please …’ I took a step towards her, arms outstretched.

‘Don’t!’ She put up her hand, palm facing me, and I stopped. ‘I’ve made my decision. I have to get away. At least for a bit.’

To my ears that sounded a tad more promising than ‘it’s over’.

‘Where are you going?’

‘To my parents. My dad’s not very well and Mamma could do with some help.’ Marina’s parents lived in Fryslân, a northern province of the Netherlands.

Both of us knew it was a valid reason for her to go, but also that it was not the main reason.

‘What about Saskia?’ I asked.

Saskia, or Sassy as she was known, was our nine-year-old daughter.

‘I’m taking her with me. I’ve booked a flight from Heathrow. I’ll pick Sassy up from school on the way. I’ve packed her things.’ She pointed down at the suitcase. ‘I called Mrs Squire. She said it was okay. There’s only a few days left of term anyway.’ Mrs Squire was the head teacher of the school in the next village. ‘I didn’t go into the details. I just said I had to go and look after my father.’

I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of Saskia being taken out of the country, but what could I do? Forcing Marina to leave her here with me would be worse. It would mean having to explain too much to her, and to everyone else.