“Oh, Fred, I miss you all the time, but today will be so hard. You taught Sam well on grilling, but you were the best.” She mopped with tissue before the kids came up. Andy seemed to be doing well, but Grandma tears might rock his boat.

She had hung the HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner from the drapery rod in the living room, the same place it had hung for perhaps the last ten years. It was starting to look a bit worse for the wear but Addy had insisted. She was definitely tradition minded, not like so many kids of the day.

Ginny fixed a pitcher of lemonade and smashed some strawberries to mix with it. “You two ready for a cold drink?” she asked when she heard them come into the house.

“Out on the deck?”

“Of course. Pick it up and take it out.”

“Any cookies?” Andy’s voice crackled from low to higher and back.

His voice is already changing. Ginny poured the now-pink lemonade in the glasses with ice. Lord, these two are growing up so fast. Please keep them from pulling away. We all have tried hard to help them become independent and responsible adults. But please, no hurry.

She set the plate of several kinds of cookies in the middle of the table. “So what did you see?”

“There were four deer out in the meadow at the east end. We just sat and watched them graze. They didn’t mind us being there at all.”

“The Harrises’ dog barked at us and spooked Smoky.” Andy always rode Smoky.

“Ah, he was just looking for something to startle him. Any excuse to jump.” Addy sipped her drink. “This sure is good. Hope you made a lot of it.”

“Easy to make more.”

“I’ll go down and brush Magic and Smoky, turn ’em out.” Addy pushed her chair back. She shook her head at Andy. “I can do it. You visit with Grandma. She’s missed you.”

“Addy!”

Addy shrugged and gave her a sort of apologetic look, along with a wink.

“Glad you came over early.” Actually I’m just so glad you came, I could fly.

“Thank you, I tried before but…” He studied his fingernails, then looked at her. “Grandma, I couldn’t.”

“I know, honey, I know. There have been lots of things I’ve put off because I just couldn’t do them yet.”

“Like what?”

“Like sort all his clothes and give them to people who could use them. I open his closet door and then just close it again.”

“Oh.”

“And the hardest of all…”

He waited for her answer before finally asking, “What?”

To tell him or not. She inhaled and sniffed. “I can’t…I can’t go to the chicken house. At all.”

“Because that’s where you found him.”

“Yes.” Please, Lord, keep me from crying. She watched as a tear leaked over his lower lid and meandered down his face. The face that reminded her so much of Fred when he was younger, actually when they first met. “You look so much like him.”