Now was a good time for her devotions so she rose from her recliner, picked up her Bible, devotional book, and journal, and headed out to the table on the deck with a padded chair. She stared at the floral cushions Fred had picked out, knowing her love of flowers. Heaving a sigh, she fetched a box of tissues and made sure she had her cell phone. Sure enough, her eyes blurred and the tears spilled over. Lord, will I ever get over the tears? Such little things that evoke memories and make me cry. I miss him so much. How will I ever manage without him? She let her Bible flop open and read one of the verses that she had underlined. “He will gather the lambs with his arm and carry them in his bosom.” She wiped and blew and wiped her eyes again. “Lord God, why did You take him home so soon? You know how I need him, why?” The sobs took over until she whimpered inside, “Are You mad at me? Did I do something You are punishing me for? Lord, I know I get so angry! You are the only one who could have stopped it from happening.” She slammed her fist on the arm of the chair. “Screaming does no good. Nothing does any good. Can You hear me? Are You really listening?” She leaned back in the chair and let the tears run.

Spook put both front feet on her thighs and licked the tears away, whimpering all the while.

“It’s okay, boy. They say crying is good, but will this ever stop?” Arms around his neck, she whispered in his flopped-over ear, “It’s okay. Thank you, I know you miss him too.” Spook sank back on his haunches and nuzzled her hand.

“Fred, look what you left. Remember, you refused to see the doctor! You wouldn’t go see him! How could you do this to us?” She yelled the last line and heard the chickens at the water basin flutter. Spook raised his muzzle and howled!

Ginny choked on her tears and coughed. Spook howled again. Laughter choked her this time. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around her curly-haired, oh-so-loving dog. “Thanks, Spook. Good boy.” Looking into his dark eyes, she smiled and nodded. “Good boy, you have more sense than I do. Or maybe you were telling God you’re mad too.”

Blowing her nose again, she read her devotion book for the day. More words about the Great Shepherd. She sure agreed with the author when she wrote that Jesus referring to us as sheep wasn’t a compliment. Sheep stink and get full of bugs in their wool and are afraid of everything. Sheep truly can be scared to death. She underlined this sentence: But thank you, Jesus, for loving us anyway, beyond what we can dream or imagine.

She stared at her ringing cell phone, not going to answer it, until she saw it was Amalia and punched the button.