She startled, looking at me with raised eyebrows and parted lips I immediately wanted back. “What?”

I grinned and stroked my thumb up her jawline. “Contrary to popular belief, sex isn’t all a guy wants.”

She scoffed. “Really.” She wiggled her hips over the evidence that sex was definitely on my mind. “Because I really want you, and it feels like you’re in the same boat.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you. Because I do. God, I do. But I’m not taking you in the mineral pool. At least not the first time.”

“My house is five minutes that way.” She nodded toward her car.

I laughed. “I’m not rushing this.”

“Can I rush this?” she asked.

“No.” There was no force on this earth that could make me take this for granted.

“Because you’re scared I’ll change my mind? Or because you will?” Her hands slipped to my shoulders, and she started to pull away.

I locked my arms around her waist.

“I saw you that night. When Sullivan kissed you in the gazebo,” I admitted.

Her eyes widened, but she stayed silent.

“I saw you leave and knew you were upset, so I went searching for you. If I had to guess, I would say that I was about five minutes too late. Instead of manning up and telling you how I felt, dealing with all the shit we were going to get in town because I’m me and you’re you, I watched you kiss my brother. It fucking killed me. That was why I joined the army the next day.”

“Oh, Cam.” Her fingers soothed the back of my neck.

“I couldn’t stay there and watch it happen, even if I thought it was probably what was best for both of you. I was afraid I’d lose it one day and beat the shit out of him—my little brother—for having the only thing I’d ever wanted for myself.” I let my thumb graze her lips, and she kissed it lightly. “I was mean to you that summer because I had another month until my basic report date and couldn’t let you get any closer than you already were. Couldn’t let you see and couldn’t take the sight of you with him.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“That’s not your fault. It was mine. My point is that five minutes changed the course of our lives. Five fucking minutes and my inability to get out of my own way kept me from kissing you that night. And it wasn’t the first night, either.”

Her brow wrinkled, and I leaned forward, gently kissing the lines just because I could. Because she loved me.

“By the time you were old enough for kissing, I was a senior in high school, and I didn’t want to take the chance that you didn’t want me.”