“I don’t see any Nikki.” Dad took a bite and then looked around the dining room. “And why the hell are we in here? I hate this room. Pointless to have an entire room we only use at Christmas, but your mother says that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” He shook his head.

I inwardly flinched, just like I always did when he talked like Mom was still here. “We thought Nikki could use a break, so Xander and I are having lunch with you. And your walker isn’t as easy to use in the kitchen, so until you’re back to one hundred percent, we thought this would be easier.”

He glared at his walker, which rested next to him. “I don’t need that damned thing. Or any of this.” He ripped the oxygen tube from his nose.

Xander moved, but I stopped him. “Let him eat first.”

“Doctor says the oxygen is only for a few more days, Dad. They just want to make sure your lungs are back up to snuff. You gave us quite the scare.” Xander’s gaze hit the table, and I wondered if he was thinking about the ventilator—the restraints. Because I sure as hell was.

“Fine, then I’ll just drive down to Doc Myers and have him clear me, because this is ridiculous.” He attacked his pasta like it was personally responsible for the oxygen.

“Dad, Doc Myers died about eight years ago,” Xander told him.

Why? I mouthed across the table. There was zero reason to shove it in Dad’s face that his mind was going. There were fights you picked and fights you walked away from.

Xander glared in response.

Great. It was childhood all over again.

“Fine, then I’ll just drive down—” Dad stood, bracing his hands on the table.

“Dad, no.” Xander and I both stood.

“I can go where I damn well please!” He slammed his fist on the bare wood of the table, making the silverware jump.

“You can’t.” Xander’s voice broke.

“Why the hell not? In case you forgot, Alexander, I’m your father. I don’t care if you think you’re a big man running off to the army because Colorado State rejected you. I’m your father.”

I blinked, and my eyes snapped to Xander, who flushed. Colorado State rejected him? That was never the story we were told. He chose to serve his country, chose to be selfless over serving himself. Xander shot me a look, and I lifted my hands like I was under arrest. I wasn’t going there.

“Like you aren’t going to throw that at me,” he snapped.

“Seriously? I wish the worst thing I had going against me was that I didn’t get into the college I wanted. I’ve done far worse.”