The look in Dad’s eyes said it all. I was the enemy who had betrayed him, and in this moment, he was right. It didn’t matter if he was lucid in there or if he thought I was fifteen or twenty-eight—I was the bad guy here.

My heart shredded and bled out with each attempt he made to break free, until orders were shouted and a nurse slipped something into his IV line.

Xander came around to my side, since his was occupied by the medical team, and leaned over the bed rails. “Dad, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he repeated in a calm tone.

Dad looked at Xander, his eyes softening. Good—the drugs they gave him were taking effect.

Then they came back to me, and all the fires of hell were aimed in my direction until Dad lost consciousness, his body going limp beneath my hands.

“It’s okay. He’s out,” the doc assured me.

I let go of his wrists and blanched at the red marks I’d left on his skin.

Xander reached around me and brought Dad’s arm back down to the restraint as the doc did the same on the other side.

“I told you these were for his protection,” Dr. Taylor said sternly.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized for Xander, knowing full well that he’d been the one to undo the restraints. Most likely while I’d been with Walter.

Xander remained silent.

“Now, my shift is over and I’m going home. Do I need to worry?” Dr. Taylor asked me directly.

“No, sir.”

“I won’t ask you a third time. I’ll simply ban you.”

“You won’t have to,” I promised.

The doc stared me down pretty bravely for a guy I could end in about a heartbeat, then nodded and left, taking all but one nurse with him.

“I’m sorry,” Xander said, running his hands over his hair. “I undid them, thinking he looked so uncomfortable, and after I finished the second one, I glanced up, and his eyes were open, and he started thrashing.”

The nurse looked up from her chart but didn’t say anything.

My chest rose in even breaths, at war with the raging thoughts that circled my brain. I’d just had to hold down my dad for the very thing he’d begged me not to do. I jeopardized what truce we had, assuming he was lucid, and once again was the devil to Xander’s perfection.

“This is why he didn’t want this,” I said softly, menace bleeding into my words despite my attempts to chill. “That right there. Everything that just happened?” I put my hand on Xander’s chest and pushed lightly until he moved out of my way. “That’s on you.”

I didn’t pause to comfort him or address his ashy appearance. Nope, I let him stew in the shit he’d caused.