He should be dead. How the hell was he alone? How did he have access to the keys?

Xander stumbled over to me, still wearing his riding gear as the paramedics evaluated Dad, one of them already putting a rescue bag over his nose and mouth.

“God, Cam. I just went down to check on John Royal. He’s trying to get the power grid back online at Alba Electric.” He ran his hands over his hair. “Dad was asleep, and I thought I could make it back before he got up.”

He couldn’t have called John instead? I kept my mouth shut, though, because I hadn’t been here, either. Dad had been alone.

“I should have been here.”

“He wasn’t going to let you in, and you know it. He wasn’t himself last night. Thought I was Cal.”

The paramedics moved Dad over to the stretcher.

He still wasn’t breathing on his own.

My stomach turned over, chill infusing my flesh instantly. “Oh shit. Xander, this isn’t what he wants.”

“You don’t think I know that? Like he’d ever want to lose his mind to the point that he can’t open a garage door?” Xander shook his head.

“No, I mean, he doesn’t want to be resuscitated.” And I’d helped. I’d fucking helped. I’d been so blinded in my need to save him that I hadn’t even paused to remember his wishes.

“Don’t start this shit,” Xander snapped.

“Xander, they’re loading Dad onto that chopper. He’s not breathing on his own. You have to speak for him. He trusts you!” I turned, getting in his face. Our heights were comparable, but we both knew I could take him in a fight. Hell, it was the one thing I was good at.

My ability to build shit was always secondary to my capability for destroying it.

“Are you ready for our dad to die?” he challenged as the paramedics started the hike back up to the chopper and we followed.

“Of course not! You think anyone is ready for that?”

“What do you want me to do, Cam? Tell them ‘never mind, he wants to die here’?” He gestured to the house.

Shit. Yes. No. I wasn’t ready. If Dad died, he’d never know that I hadn’t been told it was Sullivan’s base. That while I was responsible for Sullivan’s death, I hadn’t known it when I made the choice. That I’d only recognized Sully seconds before I saw him get hit. I’d never have a chance to repair everything broken about us.