“You weren’t in the back like we were, Cam. You weren’t finding your way out and happened to come across me. That door led out, and you came through it. You came back in to find me. You saved my life.” Her expression softened, and everything in me rebelled. She couldn’t look at me like that, like I was some kind of fucking hero for doing the decent thing, the selfish thing when push came to shove.

I hadn’t gone after her because it was the right thing to do. I’d gone after her because I couldn’t bear the thought of her not existing. I didn’t deserve an ounce of her hero worship, not when my motive was pure terror. I wasn’t anyone’s hero.

“I wasn’t there when it mattered.” My hands curled into fists. “None of the rest matters when you think about that. I let him down in Afghanistan. I let you down.”

She blinked rapidly and looked away for a handful of heartbeats, but she returned, sadness coming off her in nearly palpable waves. “You didn’t let me down,” she whispered.

My jaw ticked.

“You didn’t,” she repeated, leaning toward me but leaving a good foot between us. “It wasn’t your fault. Sullivan’s death was not your fault.”

“You don’t know that,” I snapped, refusing to even entertain the notion. “You weren’t there. You have no clue.”

“I do.” When others would have flinched and moved away, she stayed, her warmth and compassion holding me captive, torturing me with her sincerity. “I know you. Maybe not as well as I used to, but I know you all the way to your soul, Camden Daniels. If there had been a way to save him, you would have found it. If you could have given your own life for his, you would have. I don’t need to have been there to know that.” A pair of tears slipped from her eyes, and she quickly swiped at them but still didn’t look away.

I wore my grief like armor, a wall I refused to let crumble or weaken.

She wore hers like art, a bold invitation to experience the loss with her, daring you to look away, daring you to forget that he’d lived. He’d loved her.

She’d loved him. How could she not? Everyone did. Sullivan had been charming and funny and made everyone feel like they were important. He was the best of the Daniels boys, and she knew that better than anyone.

“How can you, of all people, possibly forgive me?” I shook my head, trying to dislodge her words. “I sent his squad to hold the line. Even if I didn’t know it was his when I relayed that order, I’m the one who got him killed.”