It would be dangerous to go outside in this. I like winter, but I’m afraid of it, too. It can be both generous and cruel and it does not forgive the foolhardy. We stay inside our warm house. We have lots of food and wood.

The time has come for me to read my files.

The big black stove is packed with wood, and the smokestack is roaring like a waterfall. Buffeted by the wind, our cabin trembles right down to its foundation.

I start to stack big logs of green birch and dry spruce along the wall. I’m emptying the wood box.

Pinamen suddenly understands what I’m doing. She wipes the gleaming oilcloth and sets out tea and bannock. I find my bag, shake it free of bark and wood chips and put it in the middle of the table. I take out the two bundles of papers and place them neatly in front of me.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. My heart is beating heavily. My movements are careful and steady.

What do these cold, still papers hide? I am afraid they will hurt me. Maybe I took a big risk for nothing by going into the band office that night. As far as the whites are concerned, I’m a criminal now, a thief. But in my heart and soul, I know that I did what I had to do.

Pinamen is sitting at the end of the table. She is getting ready to pluck two partridges. Her face is calm, her eyes dark and tender.

Minister of Indian and Northern Affairs

Identification Form (Confidential)

Name: Pierre Larivière

Indian name: Nipishish

Place of birth: Maniwaki, Gatineau County

Baptized: No

Status: Métis

Father’s name: Shipu

Mother’s name: Flore St. Amour

Father’s band number: 175

Mother’s band number: None

Pierre Larivière (Indian name Nipishish) is the illegitimate son of Shipu, Algonquin Indian from Lac Victoria, band number 175. Pierre Larivière was born in Maniwaki on August 17, 1944. His father took him to the Lac Cabonga Reserve shortly after his birth, without baptizing him. (Hence the absence of a birth certificate in his file.) His mother, a white woman, is dead. The child was adopted and raised (as is the custom) by Joseph and Manie Twenish, the family of Shipu’s older brother. The child’s biological father (Shipu) died accidentally in 1950, drowned in Rivière des Rapides when his canoe capsized while he was raising his fish nets.

Pierre Larivière attended St. Mark Indian Residential School near the town of Amos, in Abitibi. In his report, the director describes him as an intelligent boy, but stubborn and sly. He calls Larivière obstinate and unmanageable, and “though outwardly obedient, he is in fact still uncivilized, with an unseemly sense of entitlement.” He concludes that this Indian should be watched closely, because he “carries within him the seeds of a rebel” who “will never be a good and loyal Canadian.”