“What is it, Nipishish?”

I take out the thick bundle of papers and quickly put them in my canvas bag.

Then, kneeling on the pine needles, I tell her my secret.

“Pinamen, when you were in Manawane at your mother’s, I snuck into the band office. It was stormy out and dark, and nobody saw me. I took my file and my father’s. I looked for my mother’s but couldn’t find it. Maybe they don’t keep files on whites. I had to get out fast because the RCMP were close by. Tom’s the one who showed me this hiding place.”

“Nipishish, this is dangerous. I don’t want you to take all these risks for me. I love you, you know that, and my mother now accepts that we are living together. It doesn’t matter that you are Métis. You could end up in prison…”

I can feel her hands shaking in mine.

“I asked the Ministry of Indian Affairs if I could see these files and they refused. So I took them. All these papers are about me, Pinamen. They contain information about me, about my father, maybe about my mother. I want to know who I am, where I come from, how my father died and why. Everyone who knew my father speaks of him with respect, but I can tell there’s some secret about him that they don’t know about.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I haven’t been able to read the documents. Here on the reserve, there are eyes everywhere. We live piled on top of each other like sardines. We have to leave the reserve. Live somewhere else.”

“I can ask my mother if we can go to Manawane.”

“Listen, you know Sam and Charlotte aren’t going to their hunting ground this winter because the kids have to go to school. What would you say to spending the whole winter on the trap line?”

I watch her eyes. They are big and round.

“They have a good cabin that we know well, rich territory, even a dog team. We have our inheritance from Tom — a tent, a rifle, blankets, a lot of things. We are rich, Pinamen. And Manie will help us.”

Her cheeks turn pink. Her eyes are shining.

“We’ll finally be alone, you and I. In the forest, at the right time, I can read these documents in peace, far from the police and all these watching eyes.”

Pinamen rises up on her knees. Her head brushes the branches. Suddenly we are in each other’s arms. I can feel her warmth. The scent of pine cones fills the air. An angry squirrel chatters somewhere in the branches.

“Nipi, I’ll talk to Charlotte about this. I’m sure she’ll agree.”

“I am not very experienced at living in the woods, but I know that together we can do it. Last night, beside Tom, I had a wonderful dream full of animals and snow. That’s what made me decide. I saw a white forest in front of me, a forest of big frozen lakes and faraway mountains disappearing in a blue sky…”