‘I suppose they do. It all seems so very unromantic.’

‘But necessary. You’re all right because you’ve been with Caroline for years. I’ve never even thought about me. But there was only Peter, and I know he had a test just before we split up, for insurance purposes.’ She made patterns in the spilled salt on the table. ‘That side of it is OK. It’s just …’

‘Pregnancy.’ Drew rolled the word round his tongue. ‘I’ve always wanted children.’ His eyes were suddenly bleak. ‘Caroline was pregnant once.’

‘What?’ Maddy felt suddenly cold. ‘When? What happened?’

‘It was early in our marriage. She lost the baby at six months. She was told there couldn’t be any more. I was devastated, of course, but Caroline …’ Drew swallowed. ‘She never came to terms with it. That was when our sex life stopped altogether.’

‘Oh, God.’ Maddy’s eyes welled with tears. ‘Oh, poor Caroline – and poor you. Oh, Drew, I’ve been so unfair. I just thought she was frigid. I never stopped to wonder why.’ Maddy was stricken, ‘Jesus, Drew. What if –’

‘Our whole life is “what if”, Maddy. There’s no point in worrying about it. I have no regrets about making love with you at all.’

‘Nor have I,’ Maddy said honestly. But at the back of her mind, there was a stirring of doubt. If, just if, she was pregnant, what would happen to her? What on earth would happen to Caroline?

‘Shall we go and have that drink?’ His hand was caressing her cheek. ‘Or do you want to stay here?’

She moved her lips to the palm of his hand. ‘I want to stay here, but until one of us has sorted out some sort of, er, arrangement that I won’t get pregnant, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

‘Probably not.’ Drew stood up. ‘Anyway, I’m waiting for a call from Kit and Rosa in Jersey to tell me when they’ll be over for The Derby. If I give you fifteen minutes to get ready I’ll just go and check my answer machine.’ He pulled her to her feet, sliding his hands inside the quilted dressing gown and cupping her breasts. ‘Please don’t think about Caroline. Not tonight, anyway. Not now. Caroline is my problem, not yours. I am in love with you, Maddy. Hopelessly in love.’

She bit her lip as he closed the front door. The emotions seesawed again. She loved him, too, but now she was the other woman, the mistress. All ugly, disgusting terms for what she and Drew shared – and the very thing she’d vowed she would never be.

She wrapped her arms tightly round her waist, remembering how it had felt when Drew had touched her. He was married, and because of her he’d been unfaithful to his wife. The loss of the baby must have been appalling for them both.