“I’ll take it,” Rosamund said, appearing by my side.

“I can manage.” The words came out in a predatory snarl.

“Janneke, as much confidence as you have in yourself, Soren was more than a foot taller than you, and the bow is also nearly as tall as you.”

I narrowed my eyes, gripping Soren’s elaborate carved weapon. White bark streaked with dried red sap for color. The top of one side featured a roaring white wolf and the design on the sides was a twining snake.

What happens when the serpent stops eating his tail? I must’ve been going off-kilter because that riddle had been solved already, and there was no more reason for it to bounce around in my mind like an angry hornet.

“Janneke.” Rose’s voice was soft. “You can carry the quiver and I’ll carry the bow, just so it doesn’t get injured before Soren comes back, okay?”

I nodded, throat clenched, and handed him the bow, which he strung across his back.

Despite the burning in my chest and tears starting to freeze on my eyelashes, I wiped my face, and turned back to our guide. How could Soren leave me alone with him? How could he even think I’d possibly feel safe around Lydian without him? Despite our somewhat civil conversations, looking at him made me want to retch and tied my guts up like string.

But there was nothing I could do about it, other than mourn, other than hope he found us again and came back from whatever he was trying to prove. He couldn’t be dead yet. Stag powers or not, I’d know.

“Let’s go, then,” I said. “We don’t want to lose daylight.”

Seppo peered behind his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m definitely not okay, but for the sake of the nine worlds and the Permafrost, it doesn’t matter how I feel. We have to do this. We have to complete our mission here, whether or not Soren is with us.” I thought the words would burn my very tongue when they came out of me, but all I heard was quiet resolution. I was getting better at faking my emotions and responses.

Lydian nodded and began to lead the way again, and for the fourth or fifth day in a row, we trailed behind him through the thick and icy wind and the frost burnt air. All of us sucking down breaths and cringing as the very air itself burned our lungs with the coldness of it.

Out of the corner of my eye, the dancing multicolored frost blew, and I straightened my head, knowing from my experience last time that those beautiful shards of frost could be incredibly deadly.