The urge to slap him was particularly overwhelming. “You are the fucking Erlking, Soren. So what? You lost part of your face. I lost part of my chest. I’m full of scars, you’re full of scars. We both have bad memories to conquer.” I stepped toward him and gave him a light shove on the chest. “I know it’s hard and I know it’s emasculating. I’m not a newcomer to goblin culture. I know you feel desperate and worthless, and I know you don’t understand the point of why you’re still alive as if the point isn’t standing in front of you and all around you, listening to you mope like a child. You lost your eye. So what? You can relearn to fight. I fell in the water. So what? I’m fine.” I took a breath, so I would stop shouting at him. “You are more than your goddamn eye. I wish I could get that through to you. I know it’s hard. But we don’t have time for an identity crisis right now.”

I was being harsh, and I knew it. If someone had come at me like I was going at Soren, a mere day after Lydian had destroyed parts of my body, I would have raged and raged until there was nothing left inside of me. I was being a hypocrite to try to force Soren to get over his lost eye even a little bit, but it was true—we had no time for him to fall away into a dark space of his mind. It wasn’t safe, not for him, not for the mission, not for everyone else. It stung to be so tough on him, knowing that I went through something so similar and how long it took until the pain eventually ebbed for me, but I didn’t think I had a choice.

He still was unable to meet my gaze.

“I’m trying to softly encourage you and give you space to process, but I’m not going to let these suicidal thoughts rule over your head. I’m not going to let you wallow in self-pity until you drown. You’re the Erlking, Soren. After all that’s happened, you’re still the Erlking. That should at least tell you something.” My voice was halfway between a beg and a command. The pain in his heart was like nails lodged into an already-broken chest, pushed through the ribcage, and into his heart, his lungs, into his very spine. I knew that hurt, and I knew how tough it was to let it go, and I couldn’t judge him for it nor how severely he acted toward it because once upon a time, I was there too.