We all talked about going out. Almost every day we could hear the thud and vibration as some lander cut itself loose from its dock, pushing the whole ship out to where the Heechee main drive could go into operation. Almost as often we felt the different kind of smaller, quicker shock when some ship returned. In the evenings we went to someone's parties. My whole class was gone by now, almost. Sheri had shipped out on a Five -- I didn't see her to ask her why she changed her plans and wasn't sure I really wanted to know; the ship she went on had an otherwise all-male crew. They were German-speaking, but I guess Sheri figured she could get by pretty well without talking much. The last one was Willa Forehand. Klara and I went to Willa's farewell party and then down to the docks to watch her launch the next morning. I was supposed to be working, but I didn't think Shicky would mind. Unfortunately, Mr. Hsien was there, too, and I could see that he recognized me.

"Oh, shit," I said to Klara.

She giggled and took my hand, and we ducked out of the launch area. We strolled away until we came to an up-shaft and lifted to the next level. We sat down on the edge of Lake Superior. "Rob, old stud," she said, "I doubt he'll fire you for screwing off one time. Chew you out, probably."

I shrugged and tossed a chip of filter-pebble into the upcurving lake, which stretched a good two hundred meters up and around the shell of Gateway in front of us. I was feeling tacky, and wondering whether I was reaching the point when the bad vibes about…

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…risking nasty death in space were being overtaken by the bad vibes about cowering on Gateway. It's a funny thing about fear. I didn't feel it. I knew that the only reason I was staying on was that I was afraid, but it didn't feel as though I were afraid, only reasonably prudent.

"I think," I said, watching myself going into the sentence without being sure how it was going to come out, "that I'm going to do it. Want to come along?"

Klara sat up and shook herself. She took a moment before she said, "Maybe. What've you got in mind?"

I had nothing in mind. I was only a spectator, watching myself talk myself into something that made my toes curl. But I said, as though I had planned it out for days, "I think it might be a good idea to take a rerun."

"No deal!" She looked almost angry. "If I go, I go where the real money is."