S1 3. All officers and crewpersons are cautioned once again to avoid any repeat any dispute with officers and crewpersons of other patrol vessels regardless of nationality and regardless of circumstances, and to refrain from divulging classified information to any person whatsoever. Infractions will be dealt with by complete deprivation of Gateway leave, in addition to such other punishments as a defaulter's court may direct. 4. Temporary duty on Gateway is a privilege, not a right. If you want it, you have to earn it.

By Command of the CAPTAIN USS MAYAGUEZ

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"Shithead! You'd be maybe dead in twelve hours. Earth-normal conditions means there's a good chance of an Earth normal-type biology. Which means pathogens that could eat you up."

"So all right--" she hunched her shoulders, "so I'd keep the suit until, uh, I tested for pathogens."

"And how do you do that?"

"I use the fucking kit, stupid!" She added hastily, before I could say anything, "I mean I take the, let's see, the Basic Metabolism disks out of the freezer and activate them. I stay in orbit for twenty-four hours until they're ripe, then when I'm down on the surface I expose them and take readings with my, uh, with my C-44."

"C-33. There's no such thing as a C-44."

"So all right. Oh, and also I pack a set of antigen boosters, so if there's a marginal problem with some sort of microorganism I can give myself a booster shot and get temporary immunity."

"I guess that's all right, so far," I said doubtfully. In practice, of course, she wouldn't need to remember all that. She would read the directions on the packages, or play her course tapes, or better still, she would be out with somebody who had been out before and would know the ropes. But there was also the chance that something unforeseen would go wrong and she would be on her own resources, not to mention the fact that she had a final test to take and pass. "What else, Sheri?"

"The usual, Rob! Do I have to run through the whole list? All right. Radio-relay; spare powerpack; the geology kit; ten-day food ration -- and no, I don't eat anything I find on the planet at all, not even if there's a McDonald's hamburger stand right next to the ship. And an extra lipstick and some sanitary napkins."

I waited. She smiled prettily, outwaiting me.

"What about weapons?"

"Weapons?"

"Yes, God damn it! If it's nearly Earth normal, what are the chances of life being there?"

"Oh, yes. Let's see. Well, of course, if I need them I take them. But, wait a minute, first I sniff for methane in the atmosphere with the spectrometer reading from orbit. If there's no methane signature there's no life, so I don't have to worry."

"There's no mammalian life, and you do have to worry. What about insects? Reptiles? Dluglatches?"

"Dluglatches?"

"A word I just made up to describe a kind of life we've never heard of that doesn't generate methane in its gut but eats people."