“Do you think she did it for the thrill? Because it was thrilling, but it was exhausting too. Then Bay came along.” Sydney moved to sit at Claire’s feet, just to feel her near, to be able to touch her if Sydney got too scared. “Bay’s father lives in Seattle. That’s where I met him. David Leoni.” She swallowed, frightened by saying his name out loud. “Leoni is Bay’s real last name, but not mine. We never married. David was a scary man when I met him, but I’d known scary men before and I thought I could handle him. I was getting ready to leave him—that’s what I always did when things got too intense—but then I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t realize how having a baby could make you so vulnerable. David started hitting me, and he got more and more violent. When Bay turned one, I left him. I took Bay to Boise, went to beauty school, got a job. Everything seemed to be going so well. Then David found us. I lost a tooth and couldn’t see out of my left eye for weeks after his payback. What good would I be to Bay dead? So I went back with him, and he made my world smaller and smaller and more and more hellish until the only three things I knew were Bay, David, and his anger. Sometimes I used to think it was punishment for living the way I did before I met him. But then I met a woman at the park David let me take Bay to three times a week. She knew what was going on just by looking at me. She got me that car and helped me escape. David doesn’t know my real name, and he thinks I’m from New York, so this was the only place I knew to go, the only place he wouldn’t find me.”

Claire sat up straighter and straighter the longer Sydney talked. It was dark, but she felt Claire’s assessing gaze.

“I guess I just want you to know that I understand how you felt when you came here when you were six. I took everything I had here for granted. But I’ve come to realize this is the only security I’ve ever known. I want that for Bay. I want to erase everything she’s seen, everything she’s known because of me. Do you think that’s possible?”

Claire hesitated, and that was all the answer Sydney needed. No, it wasn’t possible. Claire never forgot.

“So, those are my secrets.” Sydney sighed. “They don’t seem as big as I thought they were.”

“Secrets never are. Do you smell that?” Claire suddenly asked. “I’ve smelled it before. It’s like cologne.”

“It’s him,” Sydney whispered, as if he would hear her. “I brought that memory with me.”