Within a quarter second of learning her name, he has gathered every bit of information he can find on her in the socialverse, collecting half a gigabyte of unremarkable trivia and a single ten-month-old news report that might matter very much.

“I’ve known one Rapunzel, two Zeldas, and three Cleopatras, but I’ve never met an Iris.”

“Do you remember everyone you’ve met? No, forget it. Of course you do. You probably have terabytes of memory you haven’t used. What was Rapunzel like?”

“She had a shaved head. I didn’t ask why.”

Iris laughs. “Okay. What else?”

“You don’t have a household Clockwork to help you with your busted Monowheel?”

Her smile slips. The subject is red-flagged as a threat to her approval. An algorithm ponders the possibilities, decides she is financially disadvantaged and that her lack of funds is a source of discomfort. The condition of poverty is new to her, probably a result of the events described in the unfortunate news story.

“I had a Talk-to-Me-Tabitha when I was little,” she says. “I talked to her all day, from when I got home till when I went to bed. My dad used to come in at ten P.M. and say he was going to have to take her away and stick her in a closet if I didn’t go to sleep. Nothing made me shut up faster than that. I hated the idea of him putting her in the closet, where she’d be all alone. But then she auto-upgraded, and after that she was always talking about how we could have a lot more fun together if I bought a Talk-to-Me-Tabitha Terrier or Talk-to-Me-Tabitha Smartglasses. She started working advertisements and offers into conversation. It got really gross, so I started doing intentionally mean things to her. I’d step on her if she was lying on the floor. One day my dad saw me swinging her against the wall and took her away. He resold her on Auctionz to teach me a lesson, even though I cried and cried. Honestly, that might be the only time in my life my father punished me for anything.”

Her tone and expression suggest irritation, which he can’t fathom. A lack of parental discipline should be a source of at least mild contentment, not disapproval. He marks this statement for further evaluation and will watch her for other signs of psychological malformation. Not that this will incline him to be any less devoted to her. He collected hundreds of tokens from a schizophrenic man named Dean. Dean believed he was being followed by a cabal of ballet dancers who intended to kidnap and castrate him. Chip dutifully watched for women in tutus and swore to defend Dean’s genitals. It was all a long time ago.