Syd reached up, running the tips of her fingers along my jaw. I pressed into the gesture, closing my eyes as I willed my heart to slow down. “You love me?” she asked.

“Always,” I said, pressing my lips to the center of her palm. “I know I’ve had a shitty way of showing it, but I’ve loved you since you made me eat mud pie.”

She trailed her hand to my chest, stopping above my heart. “Yeah, I’d say it’s a pretty weird way.”

I opened my eyes, ready to apologize more. Then I saw the soft smile on her face, and my heart actually jumped in my chest. I opened my mouth, but I was beyond words as my gaze traveled over her face. “Honest?”

“Honest,” she whispered.

“I really didn’t think you saw me as anything other than a friend.” I lowered my head, kissing her lips, because they looked like they were lonely. “And I didn’t realize I wanted more until you got with Nate, and I figured by then it was too late. Even after you guys broke up, it seemed like I’d missed my chance.”

Her brows pulled down. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?”

She pursed her lips. “The same as you. I didn’t think you saw me as anything other than a friend and the…”

“I know. The girls…” I pressed my forehead against hers. “I thought I couldn’t have you, so I wanted to forget about how I felt. It was a terrible idea.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, it was.”

My past really took the horn out of horny. “I wish I could go back and change those things. I wish—”

She placed a finger on my lips, a finger that smelled of cocoa. “It’s in the past. There’s nothing we can do about that. And hey, I could’ve said something. Developed some lady balls.”

“Lady balls?” I raised my brows.

“Uh-huh.”

I made a face as I eased onto my side beside her. “I really don’t want to think of you with balls, Syd.”

She giggled then, and the sound brought a smile to my face. I caught the light, happy sound with my lips. “If you had, I would’ve…” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s about what I’ll do now. That’s all that matters. I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. I promise.”

At first I thought I had said the wrong thing. Tears welled up in her eyes so quickly and she rolled onto her side, burying her face against my chest. Oh shit, I had most definitely said something wrong. That quickly. Wow. That had to be a record.

“Hey.” I slid my fingers under her chin. “What’s going on?”