‘What do I look like?’ I asked.

‘I’m not sure.’ He used one hand to squeeze my right bicep through my shirt. ‘But this arm has lifted more than a Parker pen in its time, I think. Perhaps you are a mercenary? I could use a few decent mercenaries at this particular moment. Were you ever in the army, Mister Kane?’

‘Where’s this going?’ I said, cranking up my indignant civilian act. ‘I demand to see someone from the British—’

‘Were you ever in the army, Mister Kane?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘A long time ago. But, look, I’m an accredited member of the press, I have all the necessary visas - why am I being detained?’

‘Because I don’t like the look of you,’ he said. ‘Your newspaper already has several correspondents in Nigeria, and I find it hard to believe it would suddenly have a need for “colour stories” hundreds of miles away from where anything of real colour is happening. So I want to know more.’ He leaned in to look at me, his nostrils flaring.

‘The British prime minister is visiting,’ I said. ‘On Thursday. I’m to report on that, too.’

‘Ah, yes,’ he said. ‘Of course. Our dear and esteemed Mister Harold Wilson. I had heard mention of that. How fortunate for us all that he has decided to pay a visit. How newsworthy.’ He tilted his head and looked at me as though I were a Picasso he suspected had been hung upside down. ‘Do you know what the rebels call your prime minister, Mister Kane?’

‘No,’ I said, wearily. I was losing so much time it didn’t bear thinking about.

‘“Herod”,’ he said, grinning. ‘Or sometimes “Herod Weasel”.’ He walked behind my back now, his heels clicking loudly. ‘You maintain you are a journalist!’ he suddenly shouted into my ear, making me jump. ‘And yet your press accreditation only came through tonight. Please explain, Mister Kane!’ He whipped the crop against the desk again, almost as though he felt he had to.

So that was it. I hadn’t thought they’d be quite so hot on it.

‘A colleague at the front was due to cover the trip,’ I said, as calmly as I could. ‘He cabled yesterday to say he was ill and wouldn’t be able to make it back to Lagos in time, so my editor decided to send me out on the first available flight instead. That’s why I’ve only just been accredited.’

Alebayo was silent for a moment.

‘Are you perhaps a spy, Mister Kane?’ he said, quietly.

I looked up at him. ‘A spy?’

‘Yes. A secret agent like your Double Oh Seven, saving the world from villains and foes . . . Amusing that you British have taken so long to realize that you no longer have an empire.’