After Diane left for work, Mrs. Murray took a few pictures of all of us together, me and the people who had become my friends, people who I’d thought were as two-dimensional as a snapshot, but who’d turned out to be so much more once I actually got to know them. The irony was a little painful—I hadn’t known that when I was alive and had a life to live. Only now, when I had no right to any of it, could I see it clearly, all this possibility.

God, I wanted Nadia to be there so badly. I wanted her to see this and know she’d been right, to thank her for burrowing a tiny tunnel through the miles of defenses I’d built, enough to let the light in.

“I know you’re missing her,” Tegan said. I turned to see her standing at my shoulder. She gave me a sad smile. “I am too.”

I nodded, struggling to speak around the enormous lump that had formed in my throat. “I think we’re all missing people tonight. I know Ian’s missing Aden.”

Our eyes traveled across the room, to where Ian was now lounging on the couch, laughing with Levi. There was a conspicuous space between them, and I got the sense that they’d unconsciously left a seat for Aden there, not yet having reshaped around his absence. I shuddered, thinking about where Aden really was, hoping he wasn’t suffering too much.

“We’d better get going, folks,” Greg finally hollered, tapping at a new watch worth more than my car. “The bus leaves for the restaurant in five! Load up your overnight bags because we’re not coming back!”

The girls all filed down to the bathroom for final lip glossings and cleavage boostings and whatever else, while the guys started carting bags to the SUV. Ian hoisted his long duffle over his shoulder, as well as my smaller backpack. It looked like he’d packed enough clothes for a whole week. Levi had also packed a massive duffle, but it was clear he and Jillian were sharing. I stood there, watching everyone file out to the SUV to start the evening, feeling there but not there, with them but alone.

I promise, I thought. I promise I’ll keep you all safe.

As we walked into the civic center, I was happy to see security guards hanging around. It made it seem less likely that we’d have a horde of vagrant-looking Mazikin descending upon us. Pictures of Aden and Nadia graced the lobby, reminding us that they should have been here. Ian slowed as he walked by, and I took his hand and squeezed when his jaw tensed and his eyes got shiny.