I stared at her jaggedly stylish dark hair, her fragile smile. Nadia had told me the same thing, that I would like Tegan if I gave her a chance. I still found her kind of hard to take, but it was difficult not to enjoy her at the same time. She was clever and funny and understood things about people that I just didn’t get. With all my heart, I wished Nadia were with us right then, because I knew it would have made her happy. I wished I could have done this when she was alive. “Yeah, she was.”

I ate dinner with Diane and indulged in a little modeling session to show her I’d picked a dress that didn’t make me look like a streetwalker. When we were done, I went around the house to check all the locks and then waited in my room until she fell asleep. Most of that time was spent on Facebook, punishing myself by reading Laney’s ecstatic status updates from the past few hours. Malachi’s page was much more reined in, but his status had been changed to say he was headed to prom with Laney. It wasn’t like him to say something like that, more like a part he was playing. But then again, I wasn’t sure I knew the real him anymore.

After reading that, I spent some time in the bathroom feeling nauseated. I managed to hold it together somewhat, and wandered back to my room to check Ian’s status. His most recent update was also about prom, and I read it over a few times, wondering if he really meant it.

Going to the big party with a beautiful girl. Love my life.

It made me feel warm and shivery at the same time. I marveled at his simple, sweet enthusiasm for things. I wanted to slip into it, hide inside it, and forget my responsibilities.

But now I could hear Diane snoring down the hall, which meant it was time to go and face them instead. I drove to the Guard house, checking myself in the visor mirror every once in a while, just to make sure I had my game face on.

Malachi and I were patrolling together tonight.

He was waiting on the porch when I arrived, sitting in the swing with his long legs stretched out in front of him, wearing cargo pants and a loose hoodie. As I pulled to a stop next to the Guard car, he stood up, shouldering his own pack, and tromped down the stairs. Malachi had an excellent game face.

I got into the Guard car and so did he, settling his pack between his feet, and then staring straight out the windshield. “Where are we going tonight?” he asked.