I’m in the shop one day on my lonesome. There’s a father and son in there reading the comics. The da seems a bit simple. The son is obviously retarded. But they’re bonding over the comics. It’s a shared interest, isn’t it? The da is reading Daredevil. The son Justice League of America. Da, the son says to him, Da, why do you have to sacrifice yourself for someone else? The da says to him, you give up your life so as someone else can live. Is that like saying sorry? the kid says to him. Is that like saying, I’m sorry? Then the kid starts shouting it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! The da puts his arm around him and manoeuvres him out the shop. I’m sorry, his da says to me as he goes. I sat there and thought about it for the longest time.

*

Choppers were all the rage in the Ardoyne in 1977 and everybody wanted one, believe me. Miracle Baby’s birthday was coming up and he had asked Tommy to get him one for a present. Tommy knew the rag-and-bone man that would come through the Ardoyne with his horse and cart and he says to him to look out for a Chopper for him and one day he shows up with this three-wheeler, which is what you call a tricycle, and he says to Tommy, here you go, I got you that Chopper you were after. But Tommy says to him, that’s not a fucking Chopper, it doesn’t even say Chopper on it, plus it’s got three fucking wheels. Sure, it’s just as fucking good as a Chopper, the bone man says to him. Besides, he says, the wee retard won’t even know the difference. Here, give him a balloon as well, the bone man says, and he gives him a white balloon with a black clown’s face on it. So as Tommy gives this bike to Miracle Baby and the wee soul’s over the moon. Sure, I got you that Chopper you were after, Tommy says to him. Oh my god, the wee guy says, it’s a three-wheeled Chopper, oh – my – god. And he’s off, speeding along the pavement on this fucking tricycle like he’s king of the wheels with this fucking balloon tied to his handlebars.