Your man Rod Stewart comes on. ‘Hot Legs’. Arlene’s pal asks me if I want to dance. I don’t really want to dance, love, what I want to do is explode all over the front of your dress, darling, but I dance with her anyway. I lift my arm up as she does a pirouette. Her dress spins all around her, like colour into water. We take a seat. She tells me about a car she’s saving up for. A Vauxhall Viva. Is that right, love? But I’m elsewhere, darling. I’m looking at all these women on the dance floor, these women dressed so fine. Who are these women? And who are the men they’re going home to? I look at Arlene’s pal with her own stupid mouth, tight as a mouse’s ear. I think of the women in the Dragon magazines; in a dungeon beneath Belfast, the prizes. And that’s when I see her.

Dancing with another redhead. The two of them in the leotards and the high heels. It’s like my dick is going to pop out the centre of my forehead like the Buddha Himself. It’s only Kathy M. It’s only the fucking girl we kidnapped. And she looks fucking unbelievable. I picture that drawer she had, filled brimming with her panties. I picture Barney rifling through them. I catch the curve of her hips. She has her hair curled round her face like Farrah Fawcett. What’s that word for the crease at the top of her thighs. She’s laughing and dancing with a friend. What a moment.

I make my excuses and walk round to the other side of the dance floor. I stand there and watch her, in secret. I see her take her handbag and go into the toilet and I don’t think twice. I follow her in there. There’s no one else inside. She goes to walk into one of the cubicles and I grab her and push her in and lock the door behind us. She’s as cool as a kitten.

You look better with your hair long, she says to me. Then she pulls her leggings down and she sits on the toilet and starts to go, right in front of me. I’d never seen a woman take a pish before in real life. Please don’t take me away, she says to me, sitting there with this sound, this stream, that is echoing, in the bowl. You ever hear that echoing sound, from a woman? What a sound. And she’s all smiling up at me. Playing with me. Don’t tie me up, she says to me, along with this sound, that’s accompanying her, that’s echoing. Don’t feed me with a spoon, she says, to this incredible sound.

I want to fuck her so badly.