*

Why did Tommy get whacked? I never asked her his name. His other name. The name he gave Kathy. The name he was given by his handlers. His handlers, what a laugh. Who could handle Tommy? Because the reason that Tommy got whacked, the reason that I have come to believe why he had to be killed, the reason that I have convinced myself is true, is that he pushed it too hard.

That would be just like Tommy. He went too far. He embraced the role a little bit too enthusiastically. The masquerade. Tommy played the game for all it was worth. No matter whose side he was on. You would think I might be mad. You would think I might have felt betrayed by the news that he had been moonlighting for the other side all along. But really I was in awe of him, all over again. He had every single one of us fooled, and on both sides too. But really he was fooling no one.

What I really believe is that when he was Tommy or when he was this other name that I never asked, this name that his handlers gave him, he was both of them one hundred per cent. And why was he whacked? You’re asking me that? Here’s what I think. You can’t have agent provocateurs – that’s the name they use, provisional, provoking agents – out there fucking murdering people left, right and centre. I mean, okay, alright, when we were taking out some of The Boys on our own side then fair play to him, he’s just doing a clean-up job and cementing his reputation with the Ra. But then when he takes out that off-duty prison guard from the H Block, I think that’s what did it. His cover was too deep for Control. That’s the word Kathy used. Control. Tommy was completely out of Control. So as they had no choice but to whack him, is my theory.

I remembered all the jobs we had done together. I remembered that thing in Dundalk. Was the whole thing staged? Himself up on the roof like in a fucking action movie. Me piling through the unmarked cars. Was he working for them back then? Does that mean they were all in on it? Did they set it up like a fucking stunt so as Tommy could go blazing through in all his glory? He loved his action movies, we know that. Did he talk the peelers into letting him set that one up? He thought he was a movie star.

And what about Pat and Arlene? Was it Tommy that had Pat killed or did he know about it? Then I killed Arlene and her man. And that’s when it struck me. It was a fucking duet. Me and Tommy had been duetting together behind the scenes. Think about it: he makes a move, and then I make a move.