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Contents ( 21)
  1. Focus
  2. Contents
  3. Introduction by the Author
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. THE BEGINNING

Newman realized the five were with the paper-selling old man. He knew it in the instant it took to take them all in. They were not loitering. They were watching the lobby. For a second his eyes lingered on the face of the older man. Then he went on with Gertrude. She was walking fast.

The darkness of the night surrounded them now. Again he listened to the clacking of her heels, out of time with his.

In silence they walked two blocks and were crossing onto the third when he spoke.

‘I didn’t know that was playing,’ he apologized.

She breathed out sharply through her nose.

‘Gert, you’ve got to stop being this way.’

So far he had not taken her arm. He dared to now, as though fearing she might run away from him. She shook his hand loose. They were walking quite fast now.

‘Gert, for God’s sake, what do you want me to do?’

She blew air out of her nose again.

‘Now stop it!’ he said sharply, and grabbed her elbow. She stopped and looked at him in the dark there.

Quietly, wanting very much to be believed, he said, ‘Don’t be silly now. Nothing’s going to happen.’

She turned and walked again, but more normally now. He kept hold of her elbow, then slipped his hand under her arm and held her closer. ‘We haven’t done anything, Gert.’

‘You don’t take it serious enough. You never did.’

‘I don’t know what you’d call taking it serious …’

‘Go and see Fred. I want you to go, you hear me? They’re just waiting for the war to be over to bust loose.’

‘I have nothing to say to Fred any more.’

‘You got plenty to say.’ She spoke in urgent hush, as though the dark were listening. The lots between the houses were sunk in black shadows, humped over with mounds of dumped earth. There was no traffic at all, except for a big trailer going by now and then. Her voice was full of breath. He could imagine the intensity of her eyes now, for her head was thrust forward. She was like a man this way, he thought. ‘You got plenty to say,’ she repeated with a quick nod to herself, ‘plenty.’

He had no answer. They had come to the same old blank wall. They walked in silence.

‘You hear?’ she demanded.

He waited a moment, thinking out his final words. He wished now that he were taller than she instead of the same height, and could look down upon her powerfully and force her agreement. He did not look at her at all, and spoke with the regular measure of his steps, ‘I’m only going to do one thing, Cert.’

She was listening. His determination had penetrated her.

‘I’m going to live like I always lived. I’m not going to change a jot. I guess you realize that I don’t believe in what the Front believes. I suppose I never really did.’