My heart stilled as I waited for what seemed like hours for a reply.

‘What?’

‘I just want to talk to you,’ I said, my jaw tense.

When there was no answer after a few moments, I went in anyway.

He was already sitting at his desk, his shoes kicked off on the floor and his laptop open in front of him.

‘I missed you this last week,’ I said. ‘Anything exciting happen at school?’

‘If you missed me, why weren’t you here?’

The question brought more tears to my eyes—honestly, I could probably help ease the drought in rural Australia with the amount I’d cried this last couple of weeks. ‘I wanted to be here. I wanted to be here more than anything, but …’ I sucked in a deep breath. ‘Your father doesn’t feel the same way about me as he always did.’

‘He said this was a mutual decision?’

My loyalty to Adrian and my need for my son to talk to me again warred within me, but I shook my head. ‘No. I love your father and the last thing I want is for the four of us to be living apart. I’m hoping he’ll see sense and we can work things out, but in the meantime, I need you to talk to me, to tell me how you’re feeling, and I promise I’m still here for you. Even when I’m at Aunty Hayley’s you can call me anytime.’

‘Do you want to get back with Dad?’

‘More than anything in the world.’ I pulled him into a hug and Saxon’s body slumped against mine. The lump in my throat eased and a desperate love for my family took its place. ‘And I love you so much.’

‘Okay. I love you too.’ He gave me a quick squeeze and then pulled back. ‘But do you mind if I get back to my homework?’

‘Sure, sweetheart.’ This time his question made me smile—he’d always been conscientious. ‘But don’t work too hard. I’ll call you for dinner soon.’

As I walked out of his bedroom, I made a silent vow—from now on I was going to be more proactive in my mission to win Adrian back.

11

As I turned into the sports ground for Payton’s soccer game I shivered, and it wasn’t because the aircon made the temperature in my car arctic. I scanned the car park for Adrian’s Mazda MX5 and wasn’t sure whether I felt disappointment or irritation when I didn’t see it. He’d better not be late for the game, or worse, not even show up. Not only would Payton be devastated, but this was my only chance of him noticing my makeover. I’d almost sent him a reminder last night but had resisted. Hayley thought it was better if I didn’t initiate contact.

‘Give him a chance to miss you,’ she’d advised.

Although she had made it clear she didn’t understand or agree with my desire to fix things between us, she’d also pledged her willingness to help.