Chapters (23)
Later, as they go to bed, Henry will thank her. Later, they won’t have sex, but she will let him hold her for the first time in a long time, and it will feel good instead of awkward. She will let his arms wrap around her and won’t feel suffocated. His feet will brush against her ankles in the way that at other moments she has been annoyed by, that, at other moments still, she will ask him to avoid. But this night he will thank her for suggesting that they all go out to the barn after dinner to see his birds, and she will say it was a pleasure, exactly what they needed, and she will mean it, and he will be grateful to her, and for the whole night they’ll sleep close together, limbs and bodies overlapping, quiet.
“Of course,” Kate says, and puts the boys’ ties back on, wipes the whipped cream off Stella’s dress with a wet napkin. “Maybe we can get a picture too.”
Tess helps Jack and Kate helps Stella, and Colin, Jamie, and Bea all put their coats on by themselves. Quinn and Maddie put on their coats too. Josh gets the booze from the table and some glasses, but then leaves the glasses and passes the bottle to Martin, who sips straight from it and smiles at his brother-in-law as Henry leads them out. The rain’s gone, and the sky is clear.
As the kids bound toward the barn, Colin takes his coat off and Martin catches it, and Bea does the same and Martin grabs hold of hers as well.
Alice grabs hold of Quinn as Maddie runs up ahead with Stella. “I need you to promise it won’t happen again,” she says.
Quinn nods. She looks at Alice. “Okay,” she says. She squeezes Alice’s arm and keeps hold of it as they keep walking.
“I am clearly not . . .” Alice starts. “I can’t be your caseworker anymore.”
Quinn lets go of her arm.
“I don’t have to give a reason,” Alice says. “No one has to know about this, but I can’t—it’s okay, she’s okay, but it’s not okay what we did.”
Quinn nods again, hands at her sides, eyes still tracking Maddie.
“We can still . . .” Alice starts, but they both know they can’t, that they won’t ever be friends.
“She left to find a tree,” Quinn says.
“I fucked up too,” Alice says. “I should never—”
“Neither of us should,” Quinn says.
Alice looks straight at her, and both of them stop walking. She holds both Quinn’s shoulders and thinks, again, how very young she is. “You won’t ever again.”
Inside the barn, sheets are strung up on the ceiling to cover what’s above them.
“Lie down,” says Henry.
The floor is wood, unfinished. Tess doesn’t check for splinters. Everyone does as Henry’s asked.