He accepted it there, in the sun-washed woods, with his body still warm from hers, that this was the beginning of the end.

“Okay, she got pregnant. So we talked about it. The best thing for everybody was to go for the abortion. Simple, quick, done. So we made the arrangements.”

“I’m sorry. That’s a difficult decision. You—you never questioned that you’d been the one who—”

“That I’d gotten her pregnant? Yvonne wasn’t a liar or a cheat. She said the kid was mine, it was mine. We were friends, Laura.”

“I’m sorry. It was hard for both of you.”

“We figured we were doing the smart thing. I was trying to make a name for myself on the circuit, she had just started a new job. A baby didn’t fit. Hell, neither of us knew anything about kids, about parenthood. We were what we were.” He looked her in the eye. “Scrabblers, looking for a good time.”

She kept her gaze level. “Are you telling me it was easy? A casual shrug. An oops?”

“No.” His eyes shifted, stared off into the trees, into the shadows. “No, it wasn’t easy. It just made sense. We agreed it was the best solution. But the night before we were to go in for it, we figured out something else. We both wanted it. We both wanted the baby. It didn’t make any sense, we didn’t know what we were doing, but we both wanted the baby.”

“She didn’t have the abortion.”

“No. We got married. We figured what the hell, let’s do it, let’s have a baby. She tried to knit things.” A smile ghosted around his mouth. “She didn’t have a clue. We read books. Went in for one of those sonogram things. Jesus Christ, it was just . . . beautiful. We argued about names and did all the things I guess everybody does.”

The smile went away and, she thought as she watched his eyes, so did he.

“Middle of the night, she was about four months along, she started bleeding, bad. She was in pain and scared. We were both so scared. I got her to the hospital, but it was already pretty much over by then. We lost the baby.”

“I’m sorry.” She rose again, but didn’t touch him. “I’m so sorry, Michael. There’s nothing more painful than losing a child.”